IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend In your letter: • describe the vacation spot you have chosen • explain how you plan to spend your time there • invite your friend to join you on your vacation

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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to complain about
vacation
Correct article usage
a vacation
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for
Change preposition
to
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 relax. Because I am really hard work in my job. The first problem is I don't have any example
for chose
Change preposition
to choose
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however
Linking Words
 I have
variant
Add an article
a variant
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 for
go
Verb problem
apply
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vacation. Every people called "Snowman's Mountain".
This
Linking Words
 hotel
on
Add a missing verb
is on
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 the mountain and inexpensive for every family and friends group. And exactly I want to ski
on
Change preposition
in
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 the snow. I hope the snow has not melted Two days ago I saw my old friend a he told me about that hotel. After
that
Add a comma
that,
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 I thought about myself. Why should I not think about myself
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 I am just
workaholic
Correct article usage
a workaholic
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 person
in addition
Linking Words
. I ought to go to the mountain. I think I will have a lot of free time for any activity
for example
Linking Words
ski
Wrong verb form
skiing
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the snow and play
snowball
Fix the agreement mistake
snowballs
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. It will be awesome I think If you have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free time
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
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you are like me you and I
just
Add a missing verb
are just
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workaholic
Fix the agreement mistake
workaholics
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persons
Replace the word
people
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.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 you can find what you are looking for. And
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
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 activities enhance our ski skills. I
am wait
Change the verb form
am waiting
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 for your answer and if you have any idea just call me without to postpone
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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 faithfully Jacob

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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the task given. In this letter, the task was to write to a friend about a vacation spot you have chosen, how you plan to spend your time, and invite your friend. However, the content seems to focus more on your decision to take a vacation and less on the specific details asked for.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your ideas more clearly. Start with an introduction to the topic, then move on to describe the vacation spot, how you plan to spend your time there, and finally, make your invitation to your friend. This logical flow will make your letter more coherent.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea. For example, one paragraph can describe the vacation spot, another can explain your activities, and a final paragraph can contain the invitation to your friend. This will make your letter easier to follow.
Task Achievement
The tone of the letter does not completely match what is expected in a letter to a friend. It is somewhat formal and distant. Try using more personal and conversational language to make your letter sound more friendly and inviting.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking scenery
  • cultural landmarks
  • itinerary
  • accommodations
  • excursions
  • gastronomic delights
  • leisure activities
  • unwind and relax
  • off the beaten track
  • once-in-a-lifetime experience
  • picturesque
  • explore
  • local cuisine
  • adventure
  • bonding
  • create memories
  • companionship
  • escapade
  • serenity
  • revitalize
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