We live in a world of technology these days, while the internet brings with it clear advantages the problem in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent you agree

Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
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is the greatest invention that changed human lives drastically. As a matter of fact, wifi has become a mandatory necessity for
people
to complete their daily tasks. But with the improvement of communication
technology
Add a comma
technology,
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the rate of cyber crime rate has
also
increased.
Advantages
Correct article usage
The advantages
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and disadvantages of
internet
Add an article
the internet
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has
Change the verb form
have
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always been a highly contentious subject among individuals. In my opinion, I disagree that
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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effects of the
world wide web
Correct your spelling
World Wide Web
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outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
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the drawbacks. I believe that if the users are aware of cyber security strategies, they can protect their
information
. The forthcoming paragraphs will discuss the illegal
activities
occurring
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the web and how to eliminate them.
To begin
with,
people
and
business
organizations use the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
for various purposes. Some of the main ones are social media, purchasing items, applying for jobs, applying for universities, banking purposes and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
communication.
While
doing these tasks they release highly sensitive
information
to the net like personal photographs, location, banking
information
, personal details, and
business
records.
Therefore
, criminals are taking advantage of
this
by stealing
information
through hacking
people
’s personal and
business
accounts.
For instance
, there was a travel website which
offers
Wrong verb form
offered
show examples
air tickets for cheap prices. But when customers buy airline tickets, they never receive a confirmation or a copy of their ticket. After it was reported to the authorities, they found that it was a fraudulent web page.
In addition
, credit card thefts, stealing personal images for inappropriate
activities
and hacking
business
systems are common felonies that happen globally.
On the other hand
, these crimes can be avoided if
people
are proactive.
In other words
,
people
should be aware of online fraud and how to prevent it
happening
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
. Nowadays many companies provide
cyber security
Correct your spelling
cybersecurity
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training for employees annually. So, they can spot any alarming
activities
happening
while
working online. Schools
also
educate students on how to protect themselves from online fraud.
Moreover
, it is highly advised to purchase items from reliable websites.
Furthermore
, it is safe not to share too much
information
like personal pictures, current location, daily routine,
picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
show examples
of important documents like identity cards, passports job offer letters, events and sensitive
information
about the workplace etc. If everyone follows these precautions unlawful
activities
can be reduced. In conclusion,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
provides many benefits. But privacy and security
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
become a rising concern. Yet
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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illegal
activities
can be avoided by becoming educated about how they occur and what measures
can
Verb problem
apply
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one can put in place to evade them.
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task response
To improve task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt by clearly stating your position and providing a balanced analysis that reflects the extent to which you agree or disagree. Your position should be consistently reflected throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and clearly. Ensure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next, with each paragraph having a clear main idea and supporting details.
language proficieny
Your essay would benefit from a more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency. Try to avoid repetition of words and phrases where possible.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
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