In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people believe that governments have the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In developing nations,
a concerning
about the issues of Replace the word
concerns
children
’s health
have a growing significant number. Certainly, the authors should be taken rensponsibility
to solve Correct your spelling
responsibility
this
problem. I firmly agree that governments should be influenced parents
to be more aware of Change preposition
by parents
children
’s health
.
To begin
with, governments should be released regulations to limit sweety
Correct your spelling
sweet
products
and beverages, considering to
Change preposition
apply
its
ingredients. It is produced Correct pronoun usage
their
bigh
Correct your spelling
by
level
Correct article usage
the level
sugar
commonly which could Change preposition
of sugar
be contributed
to Wrong verb form
contribute
humans
weight if they consume regularly. Limiting sugar in any Change noun form
humans'
human's
products
could help to maintain health
issues because most children
love to consume such
as bisquets
. chocolates and ice creams. In Correct your spelling
biscuits
bosquets
bouquets
generally
, buying Change the word
general
children
’s favorite
snacks is signed love Change the spelling
favourite
parents
to their children
. As a result
, controlling ingredients
of Correct article usage
the ingredients
products
is a good approach to implicate.
Furthermore
, authors could be influenced by making health
campaigns for children
through education or schools as well as
advocating parents
to be more aware of eating behaviour in Change preposition
for parents
children
daily Change noun form
children's
habit
. Through Fix the agreement mistake
habits
campaignes
or seminars for Correct your spelling
campaigns
maternals
and Correct your spelling
materials
maternal
paternals
could be enhanced awareness of balancing Correct your spelling
paternal
of
their Change preposition
apply
consume
. For illustrates, Replace the word
consumption
parents
are changed
their foods by providing fruits and vegetables rather than candies or chocolates for their Change the verb form
have changed
children
.
In conclusion, the
governments have a vital role in numerous aspects of citizens especially healthy habits for Correct article usage
apply
children
due to
future generation
by providing regulations of ingredients Fix the agreement mistake
generations
at
all consuming Change preposition
for
products
, influencing parents
and children
through education. This
approach could be reduced
the problem of Wrong verb form
reduce
overweight
and unhealthy among Add a missing verb
being overweight
children
in numerous advancing countries.Submitted by innezgracias on
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task achievement
To enhance your Task Achievement score, ensure your response addresses the prompt directly and thoroughly. Provide a clear opinion from the introduction, followed by more detailed, relevant examples to support your arguments. Emphasize the government's role more distinctly and explore other stakeholders' roles for a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Improve your coherence and cohesion by organizing your essay more logically. Start with an introduction that outlines your main arguments, follow with body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and conclude with a summary of your points. Use cohesive devices (e.g., however, in addition, furthermore) effectively to link your ideas smoothly.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range, as errors can hinder the clarity of your ideas. Practicing complex sentence structures, as well as subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, can significantly enhance the fluency of your writing.
general
Expand your vocabulary by practicing with synonyms and avoiding repetition. Using a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.