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Writing Samples /
Band 3

 The bar chart illustrates how the proportion of accessing news of people were in different sources in a country changed from 2013 to 2017.

 The bar chart illustrates how the proportion of accessing news of people were in different sources in a country changed from 2013 to 2017.
#bar #proportion #news #people #sources #country
Overall
, it can be seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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television
by
Add a missing verb
is by
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 far the most
papular
Correct your spelling
popular
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media
Fix the agreement mistake
medium
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 to access news
while
rate
Add an article
the rate
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 of accessing radio remained stable during
period
Add an article
the period
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.
Generally
Add a comma
Generally,
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 there is a wide disparity in the amount of Five media accessed news .the popular media
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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television
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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contribute
Wrong verb form
contributed
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 the largest rate in 2013 ,
To
Change preposition
At
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 80% and experienced
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 fall in 2015 and 2017 at 68 % and 70% respectively.The tendency
of reading
Change preposition
to read
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 newspapers started
with
Change preposition
at
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 40% and there was
Correct article usage
a dramatic
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dramatic
Change the adjective
dramatically
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decreased
Replace the word
decrease
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,at 30% and 20%
while
 compared to
contribution
Correct article usage
the contribution
show examples
 listening to
radio
Add an article
the radio
show examples
 did not change and
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 at 30% during
period
Add an article
the period
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.The using of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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 in all
devises
Replace the word
devices
show examples
 experienced
dramatically
Correct article usage
a dramatically
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 upward trend over a period
while
this
 popularity
formed
Verb problem
peaked
show examples
 at 30% and reached a peak
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 70%.As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be noticed in 2017 television and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 were roughly the same
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the rate of accessing news ,at 70%.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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