IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Facing the current world’s
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
 related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues, vehicles which make use of oil-based
combustible
Fix the agreement mistake
combustibles
show examples
 should be replaced by electric
cars
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally agrees with
this
Linking Words
 position, as far as dioxide carbon emission from exhaust plays an immense role in environmental impact.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, feeding our
cars
Use synonyms
 with oil means dissemination of breathing disease in urban populations.

 In many cities across the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 there are a huge number of
cars
Use synonyms
 stuck in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic. All these vehicles provide tons of exhaust fumes
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 above our heads, which linger in the sky,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anywhere.
Such
Linking Words
 pollutant gases accumulate in
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
show examples
 and create a kind of isolation layer around the planet, provoking the so-called greenhouse effect.
As a result
Linking Words
, we have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the average temperature of the globe, trigging damage in different
biomas
Correct your spelling
biomes
biomass
 and their ecosystems.
For instance
Linking Words
, the melting of glaciers and overheating of the seas.

In addition
Linking Words
, when people are exposed to high levels of pollutant gases, they develop medical conditions. One of the main causes
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the fact that fossil fuels are highly toxic to
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body.
In other words
Linking Words
, our exposition to
this
Linking Words
 kind of substance poisons our respiratory system. The development of illness among
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
 population is alarming, as far as they inhale exhaust fumes every single day. Respiratory allergies and lung diseases,
such
Linking Words
 as asthma and cancer are frequent in metropolitan cities like Xangai in China and São Paulo in Brazil.
This
Linking Words
 is a direct result of thousands of
cars
Use synonyms
 burning fossil fuel daily.
To conclude
Linking Words
, as we can see, using oil-based fuels to move our
cars
Use synonyms
 is something which endangers all forms of life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 planet. Fossil combustible is poison to the environment, ecosystems and human life.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, the measure of replacing
cars
Use synonyms
 using fuel
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 electric ones is something urgent to change the current critical plight.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Start your essay with a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question of whether you agree or disagree with the proposition.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more detailed analysis and evidence to support your points. For example, citing credible sources, data, or studies could make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. You've made a good start, but further variety can help readability and flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider revisiting your conclusion to reinforce your position more powerfully. A strong, summarizing final statement could leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: