IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You work for an international company. You want to attend special family celebration during working hours. You need to take time off work for this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter - Give details of family celebration - Tell your manager how much time time off work you need - Suggest how work can be done while you attend the celebration

#work #company #celebration #hours #time #manager
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Dear Sir or Madam I
write
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letter
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a letter
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 to check with you to please give me a holiday from work for
2days
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2 days
 as my grandparent's 45 anniversary. My grandparents live in London and we going to their anniversary party celebration there. I am asking for Wednesday and Thursday off my sweethearts so I come back to work on Friday morning. I and my husband are going to
this
 party first time and we want to make a big party for our family and our other relatives in London. I can teach any staff to do my work, so please tell me when to do the training for my job for another person. Yours faithfully Sabin
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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structure
Ensure your letter is clearly structured with separate paragraphs for each point you need to cover (e.g., detailing the family celebration, explaining the required time off, and suggesting how work can be handled). This helps in organizing your ideas more effectively.
greeting and closing
Use a more formal greeting if you don't know the manager personally (e.g., 'Dear Mr./Mrs. [Last Name]'), or a slightly informal one if you do ('Dear [First Name]'). The closing sentence should also reflect the appropriate level of formality based on your relationship with the manager.
content
Be specific about your plan to cover work during your absence. Instead of saying 'I can teach any staff,' nominate a particular colleague and briefly outline how you'll ensure they're prepared (e.g., 'I will train John Doe on Monday to handle my tasks').
tone
Improve the tone of your letter to be more aligned with formal business writing. Avoid colloquial phrases such as 'my sweethearts' and ensure the use of proper pronouns and a more professional vocabulary.
idea development
Focus on developing one idea per paragraph and ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. This will improve the letter's readability and coherence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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