IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, some employers thought formal academic qualification are more important than life experience and personal qualities when they look for new employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#employers #qualification #life #qualities #employees
A faction of employers holds the notion that academic qualifications should be considered as imperative than life experience and personal qualities
while
 appointing new employees. I completely agree with
this
 view as ample
of
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apply
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reasons are present to substantiate it.
This
 essay will delve into my viewpoint with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, one of the obvious advantages of hiring educationally qualified persons helps
singnificantly
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significantly
improve
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improves
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professionalism
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the professionalism
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 of the
business
 organisation.
In other words
, formal education, undeniably, would improve the professional skill of people,
therefore
, academically qualified persons can contribute to
the
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apply
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business
 establishments more than experienced,
non qualified
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non-qualified
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, personnel.
For example
, an architect can be
professionally
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professional
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contributed
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apply
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than an experienced
skill
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skilled
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 worker in
the
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apply
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construction design.
Similarly
,
academic
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academically
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 qualified persons can think out of the box and
intitate
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initiate
 new ideas which can be beneficial for companies.
In contrast
,
long time
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long-time
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 experienced
staff
, arguably, would have limitations in the
prespective
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perspective
 of new initiatives.
Furthermore
, in
this
 technology-driven world, understanding and implementation of modern technological advancements are vital. In detail, professional
learnt
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apply
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staff
 is an advantage to
implement
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implementing
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 contemporary technologies without any delay.
For example
,
AI based
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AI-based
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 statistical analysis would help to increase
custmer
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customer
 footfalls,
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and
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implementation of
this
technolgy
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technology
 require a
knowledgable
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knowledgeable
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 employee
Moreover
, these modern
techologies
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technologies
 can decrease the
expences
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expenses
show examples
 of the company. By doing
this
business
 establishments can perform well in the competitive world. In conclusion, academically qualified
staff
 contribute betterment of the
business
 not only by initiating new projects but
also
 by professional
approch
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approach
.
Moreover
, these employees are capable to
implentent
Correct your spelling
implement
 new technologies. I believe that educationally qualified
staff
 should be hired.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To further enhance your essay, aim for a balanced range of complex sentence structures and consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words to seamlessly connect ideas.
Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, strive to explore both sides of the argument to a greater extent, even if your position is clear. Providing concrete examples with specifics can make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
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