Some people believe that if the police force carries guns, it will encourage higher levels of violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #police #force #guns #levels #violence #society

Now in our days,

unfortunately

Add the comma(s)

unfortunately,

show examples

we have to deal with violence and most of the time

this

can give us

headache

Add an article

a headache

show examples

when

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

about to choose and solve

the

Correct article usage

show examples

problem. In my opinion, all police forces should

carries

Change the verb form

carry

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gun

to protect

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society and themself,

while

the

Correct article usage

apply

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gun

shops and

gun

traffic

needs

Correct subject-verb agreement

need

show examples

to be

stop

Wrong verb form

stopped

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and forbidden.

Firstly

, we need to support the police force and be

thankfull

Correct your spelling

thankful

to them.

Carring

Correct your spelling

Carrying

Caring

gun

as a policeman is very important and very

safety

Replace the word

safe

show examples

in their missions.

For example

, if a

terourist atack

Correct your spelling

terrorist attack

has been started, how can be

stoped

Correct your spelling

stopped

show examples

without guns? I really

belive

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believe

show examples

that a

gun

next to a

policeman

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policeman's

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poket

Correct your spelling

pocket

poker

will never encourage

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show examples

h8igher

Correct your spelling

higher

level of violence in society.

Move

Wrong verb form

Moving

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forward, as a police force, the implication and the support from people should be only positive, not the opposite. Every single day, they are

riscking

Correct your spelling

risking

their life and

confrunt

Correct your spelling

confront

the danger for us, we should always call them to fix the problems, not us. In conclusion, having a

gun

as a policeman, can not make

society

Change noun form

society's

show examples

level of violence higher.

Submitted by atomoiaga46 on Sun Mar 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue, but there are multiple areas where further development and clarity are needed. While you have a conclusion and an introduction, the essay's structure could be clearer, with better paragraph organization around your main points. Consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to better guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Your response to the task is on topic, but you could enhance your work by providing a more comprehensive exploration of the issue. This includes counterarguments to your position, which can then be refuted to strengthen your argument. Also, specificity in your examples is good, but strive for even more detailed and concrete examples to support your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

184 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that if the police force carries guns, it will encourage higher levels of violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. what are the causes and solutions of this.

Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution, and airport construction. Some people say that government should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of people are now using the internet to meet new people and socialise. Some people think this has brought people closer together while others think people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and what is wrong, so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects.