Government funding should only provide scholarships for best students. All other funding should come from student fees and private organisations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To commence with many educational
institution
Change to a plural noun
institutions
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spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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money on
education
which
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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those
admission
Replace the word
admitted
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to get the best grades in various filled. All other funding should be provided by private organizations.
However
, the expertise could be provided by
Add an article
the authority
show examples
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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and private sectors. Government grants should not be provided for the toppers.
On the other hand
, the private sector would not provide the educational institution after one time because if they have any benefits regarding the funding
then
they can spend more money.
Furthermore
,if
auniversity
Correct your spelling
a university
university
provides a fixed amount of expertise
then
it is very limited financial help to the
recruitment
.
For instance
, huge financial support from the high authorities can help the university attract more talented
admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, there are various drawbacks when
academy
Correct article usage
an academy
show examples
use
Change the verb form
uses
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the funding to award the most remarkable enlistment. The student's scholarship is bigger than the university’s operating expenses for other things.
Consequently
, if the cost is totally covered by tuition fees to help from private organizations
then
it will be a serious burden on the
recruitment
which can prevent them from attending
education
.
As a result
, if the
admission
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
education
for their completed
education
then
the ministry policies are changed by the other new authorities now it can be more difficult to complete the study for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
admission
. In conclusion, most educational
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
expend the full amount of money funding provided by the government for excellent
recruitment
. In my point of view, when
recruitment
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
admission
to the university with a scholarship
then
all expenses should be included in the whole funding.
Submitted by psingh8059 on

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task achievement
Focus on clearly outlining your thesis statement at the beginning. An explicit statement of agreement or disagreement guides your entire essay.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Each paragraph should contribute to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Use clear and logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This helps to guide the reader through your essay in a coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Try to craft a more defined conclusion that restates your position and summarizes the main points made in your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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