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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#stages #consumer #goods #process #information #adjustment #summarise #features #comparisons
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The
flow
 chart displays the representative stages of
costumer
Correct your spelling
customer
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merchandises
Fix the agreement mistake
merchandise
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 manufacturing, including two methods of
flow
 which are
flow
Correct article usage
the flow
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 of
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
show examples
process
 and
flow
Correct article usage
the flow
show examples
 of
information
feedback
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the first
step
, raw materials and other manufactured components are mixed together into storage, followed by the
step
 of
production
 planning.
Besides
, the
process
 of
production
 planning reports
information
feedback
 to the
stage
 of storage. Meanwhile, with the
process
 of product
research
 before, the next
process
 of design, is
also
 followed by the
stage
 of
production
 planning. After the
stage
 of
production
 planning,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
comes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
step
 of assembly with the
stage
 of inspection, testing, packaging, despatch, sales orderly and respectively. In the aspect of
information
feedback
, the
stage
 of sales gives
information
feeback
Correct your spelling
feedback
 to the
stage
 of
production
 planning and the
stage
 of market
research
.
Additionally
, the
step
 of market
research
 gives
information
feedback
 to the
stage
 of packing and advertising, and the
stage
 of design
is received
Wrong verb form
receives
show examples
information
feedback
 by the
step
 of testing and market
research
 respectively. To summarize, the
process
 of consumer
products
Change the noun form
product
show examples
 making is complex, which includes 12 steps from the
step
 of storage and the
stage
 of sales.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words flow, process, information, feedback, step, production, stage, research with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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