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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#stages #consumer #goods #process #information #adjustment #summarise #features #comparisons
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The
flow
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 chart displays the representative stages of
costumer
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customer
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merchandises
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merchandise
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 manufacturing, including two methods of
flow
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 which are
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flow
Correct article usage
the flow
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 of
manufacturing
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the manufacturing
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process
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 and
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flow
Correct article usage
the flow
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 of
information
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feedback
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.
At
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In
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 the first
step
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, raw materials and other manufactured components are mixed together into storage, followed by the
step
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 of
production
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 planning.
Besides
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, the
process
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 of
production
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 planning reports
information
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feedback
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 to the
stage
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 of storage. Meanwhile, with the
process
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 of product
research
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 before, the next
process
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 of design, is
also
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 followed by the
stage
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 of
production
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 planning. After the
stage
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 of
production
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 planning,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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comes
to
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apply
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the
step
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 of assembly with the
stage
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 of inspection, testing, packaging, despatch, sales orderly and respectively. In the aspect of
information
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feedback
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, the
stage
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 of sales gives
information
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feeback
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feedback
 to the
stage
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 of
production
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 planning and the
stage
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 of market
research
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
step
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 of market
research
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 gives
information
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feedback
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 to the
stage
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 of packing and advertising, and the
stage
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 of design
is received
Wrong verb form
receives
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information
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feedback
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 by the
step
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 of testing and market
research
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 respectively. To summarize, the
process
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 of consumer
products
Change the noun form
product
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 making is complex, which includes 12 steps from the
step
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 of storage and the
stage
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 of sales.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words flow, process, information, feedback, step, production, stage, research with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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