You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine. For someone to live with a family for 6 months and look after their 6 years old child. Write a letter to the parents. explain why you would like the job give details of why you should be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia Dear sir or Madam,

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #months #years #child #parents #job #person #time #australia #sir #madam

Dear sir, I am writing

this

letter to express my interest in

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

which you have posted in an American magazine. I like to

work

nanny

Add an article

a nanny

show examples

because I love

children

. I always enjoy with them

while

playing, feeding food to them or doing their

work

with maintaining cleanliness. I think I am

perfect

Add an article

the perfect

a perfect

show examples

candidate for

this

job because I

also

have experience of 1 year as

Nanny

Correct article usage

a Nanny

show examples

. I can handle

children

very well. I

also

know about what we have to give to

children

this

age or how to keep them safe and entertain them with funny games. In

this

way,

children

did

Wrong verb form

show examples

not miss their parents when they are

Change preposition

show examples

work

. I am

international

Add an article

an international

show examples

student here and I did not have much time to

work

for

Correct article usage

an 8

show examples

10 hours

Correct your spelling

10-hour

shift as I am

also

going to

college

for my studies. Currently, I am living in Brampton and my

college

is in Toronto so that's why

Change the capitalization

show examples

am moving to Toronto. From there, it will be easier for me to go

college

Change preposition

to college

show examples

on time. I was

also

working as Nanny in my

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

, so, I have

experience

Change the verb form

experienced

show examples

too. I have my

college

day

Add an article

the day

show examples

time and as you already told me that you are working

night

Correct article usage

the night

show examples

shift. So, I will look after your

children

when you are not home.

This

looks good for both of us. If you need,

then

I will

also

provide

reference

Correct article usage

a reference

show examples

letter from my previous owner. I am excited to

hearing

Change the verb

hear

show examples

back from you. Thank you. Your's sincerely, Mohit

Submitted by Kamaljeetkaur6968 on Tue Mar 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to organize your thoughts more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or aspect of your application. This will help improve the logical flow of your letter.

coherence cohesion

The greeting should be formal when addressing unknown individuals in this context. Use 'Dear Sir/Madam,' to maintain a proper and respectful tone.

task achievement

Ensure that you address all the points mentioned in the task effectively. Explicitly mention your enthusiasm for the opportunity, your qualifications, and how you plan to spend your free time in Australia in distinct sections of your letter.

task achievement

Although your tone is generally suitable, be cautious about being too informal in such applications. Maintain a balance between showing enthusiasm and professionalism.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The Greeting

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Children brought up in families with less money are better prepared for life than those from wealthy families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?