You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine. For someone to live with a family for 6 months and look after their 6 years old child. Write a letter to the parents. explain why you would like the job give details of why you should be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia Dear sir or Madam,

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Dear sir, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to express my interest in

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

which you have posted in an American magazine. I like to

work

Use synonyms

nanny

Add an article

a nanny

show examples

because I love

children

Use synonyms

. I always enjoy with them

while

Linking Words

playing, feeding food to them or doing their

work

Use synonyms

with maintaining cleanliness. I think I am

perfect

Add an article

the perfect

a perfect

show examples

candidate for

this

Linking Words

job because I

also

Linking Words

have experience of 1 year as

Nanny

Correct article usage

a Nanny

show examples

. I can handle

children

Use synonyms

very well. I

also

Linking Words

know about what we have to give to

children

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

age or how to keep them safe and entertain them with funny games. In

this

Linking Words

way,

children

Use synonyms

did

Wrong verb form

show examples

not miss their parents when they are

Change preposition

show examples

work

Use synonyms

. I am

international

Add an article

an international

show examples

student here and I did not have much time to

work

Use synonyms

for

Correct article usage

an 8

show examples

10 hours

Correct your spelling

10-hour

shift as I am

also

Linking Words

going to

college

Use synonyms

for my studies. Currently, I am living in Brampton and my

college

Use synonyms

is in Toronto so that's why

Change the capitalization

show examples

am moving to Toronto. From there, it will be easier for me to go

Use synonyms

college

Change preposition

to college

show examples

on time. I was

also

Linking Words

working as Nanny in my

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

, so, I have

experience

Change the verb form

experienced

show examples

too. I have my

college

Use synonyms

day

Add an article

the day

show examples

time and as you already told me that you are working

night

Correct article usage

the night

show examples

shift. So, I will look after your

children

Use synonyms

when you are not home.

This

Linking Words

looks good for both of us. If you need,

then

Linking Words

I will

also

Linking Words

provide

reference

Correct article usage

a reference

show examples

letter from my previous owner. I am excited to

hearing

Change the verb

hear

show examples

back from you. Thank you. Your's sincerely, Mohit

Kamaljeetkaur6968Tue Mar 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to organize your thoughts more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or aspect of your application. This will help improve the logical flow of your letter.

coherence cohesion

The greeting should be formal when addressing unknown individuals in this context. Use 'Dear Sir/Madam,' to maintain a proper and respectful tone.

task achievement

Ensure that you address all the points mentioned in the task effectively. Explicitly mention your enthusiasm for the opportunity, your qualifications, and how you plan to spend your free time in Australia in distinct sections of your letter.

task achievement

Although your tone is generally suitable, be cautious about being too informal in such applications. Maintain a balance between showing enthusiasm and professionalism.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

254 words

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The Greeting

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is that happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

The most important aim of science should be improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people should focus on all, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those that they find interesting. Discuss both views and give your own.