Some people think that woman should take part in the military or the police force, but other oppose to this idea. Discuss both views give your own opinion and examples
The participation of
women
in traditionally male-dominated sectors like the military and police force has ignited a contentious debate. Advocates assert that gender should not hinder individuals from serving their communities, emphasizing women
's proficiency in physical fitness, leadership, and strategic thinking. They stress the value of diversity in these organizations, citing successful integration examples in countries like Norway, Canada, and Israel.
Conversely
, opponents express reservations about physiological differences and potential disruption to unit cohesion and morale in mixed-gender environments. They argue that certain roles, particularly combat or frontline duties, may pose increased risks for women
and impact operational effectiveness. Studies have indicated challenges in interpersonal dynamics and communication within mixed-gender units, potentially affecting mission success.
In my view, despite valid concerns, the benefits of integrating women
outweigh the drawbacks. Gender should not dictate one's capability to serve in crucial roles, as both genders bring valuable skills and perspectives essential for community safety and security. Addressing logistical and cultural barriers through adequate training and support is crucial to ensure women
's successful participation. Moreover
, promoting inclusivity and diversity fosters a more equitable and effective workforce, strengthening organizational legitimacy.
In conclusion, the discourse surrounding women
's involvement in the military and police force mirrors broader conversations about gender equality and diversity. Recognizing and addressing challenges, while
acknowledging the valuable contributions women
can make, is essential. By prioritizing inclusivity and support, we can establish more robust and representative institutions reflective of our diverse communities.Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on
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task response
To enhance task response, ensure that each paragraph fully addresses the question. While your essay briefly touches upon both views, delving deeper into each perspective with more specific examples and arguments will create a more persuasive argument. Additionally, your personal opinion could be more clearly articulated, perhaps in a separate paragraph, to distinguish it from the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, aim to connect your ideas more fluidly. Use a variety of linking words and phrases, not only to start paragraphs but also within them, to guide the reader through your argumentation. Paragraphs could also benefit from clearer topic sentences that summarize the main point, preparing the reader for what is to come.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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