IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

The figures give information about economic growth and household expenditure across a range of categories. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#figures #information #growth #household #expenditure #range #categories #summarise #features #comparisons
The line graph represents information about economic progress which happened from 1995 to 2010 . The pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 the proportion of household expenditure over the same period.
Overall
, the figures suggest that financial development has an effect on patterns of household expenditure.
To begin
, in 1995 the economic
rose
Replace the word
rise
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 was approximately 1% . The pie chart for that year shows that food and housing
almost
Add a missing verb
are almost
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two- thirds
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
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 of the whole expenditure.
However
, less crucial items
such
 as clothing, entertainment, and travel
was
Change the verb form
were
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 20% .
On the other hand
, economic expansion depicts
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 greatest number in 2005 nearly 5% .
However
, there was a dramatic decrease in
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 years
where's
Verb problem
where it was
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 almost reaching -5% .
Moreover
, during the prosperity economic years spending on non - essentials increased. In 2010 , economic growth was completely 0 , and
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 devoted much to housing.
Submitted by ruznadir on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, focus on providing a more comprehensive overview that encapsulates all key features of the graphs. Avoid merely listing observations but seek to interrelate them clearly. Further, the use of specific data points from the graphs to substantiate your observations could greatly improve your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clear logical structure. This can be achieved by organizing your paragraphs more effectively, ensuring each one has a clear main idea and is structured around it. Start by introducing the topic, followed by paragraphs that discuss each main feature or comparison, and conclude with a summary of the main points or implications.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, it's crucial to ensure that your ideas are not only presented in a logical order but also clearly linked. Making use of a wider range of connecting words (e.g., in addition, furthermore, consequently) can help to show the relationship between different parts of your text. Moreover, developing paragraphs fully around a single main idea helps in maintaining focus and clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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