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Writing Samples
Band 5

Opinion With internet improvements, people can leave views or opinions on certain goods or services that they have purchased. Is it a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, with the new developments, individuals can leave their comments or
opinions
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 on certain products or services that they have bought. There might be some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
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this
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 phenomenon,
however
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,
This
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 essay firmly believes that
this
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 could benefit people, because of the
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feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
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 that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 essential in the diffusion of
companies
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' reputation, and the truth about quality which can save many
customers
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 from being deceived.
To begin
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, today many
vievers
Correct your spelling
viewers
 of social media are posting different comments expressing their verdict upon certain
subject
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subjects
show examples
. With the improvements of new
technologies
Add a comma
technologies,
show examples
 it became possible to clearly share
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 with others just within a fraction of a second. And, many
companies
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 could easily benefit from these correlations.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
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apply
show examples
 one of the main factors that amplifies the chance to spread
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companies'
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a company's
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 reputation is
a
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apply
show examples
feedback. Feedback plays a huge role in the
customers
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' selections and could easily navigate them to whether
obtain
Fix the infinitive
to obtain
show examples
 or discard
comodities
Correct your spelling
commodities
.
Consequently
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,
companies
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 with
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 favourable votes and
Use synonyms
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
show examples
 might become dominant in
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 contests.
For instance
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, Apple company before gaining
a
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apply
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superiority in the field of technology
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
initialy
Correct your spelling
initially
 based its work
in
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on
show examples
 collecting
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feedbacks
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feedback
show examples
 manifesting
customers
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' gratification.
On the other hand
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,
views
Correct article usage
the views
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 and
opinions
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 of people may save millions of individuals from being deceived.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 every platform in social
network
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networks
show examples
 has its own statistics and total rates of
Use synonyms
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
show examples
 that appear on screens right before ordering or acquiring a specific product. And, they may serve as a great precaution for many humans owing to the fact that goods
in
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on
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 could contain misleading
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 on the account of quality and availability.
That is
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 why, personal
opinions
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 of people could prevent
such
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 obscure consequences. To
enumurate
Correct your spelling
enumerate
, the app called Play Market offers a great majority of products
,
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apply
show examples
 and has a special line full of
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feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
show examples
 that could help many users to buy reliable and
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 verified goods. In conclusion, with technological advancements individuals can publish their personal views and
opinions
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.
This
Linking Words
 may be a negative development in some cases,
however
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,
This
Linking Words
 essay trusts that there are more positive traits, because of the importance of
feedbacks
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 that help to spread
companies
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' reputation and, revelation of truth that can save many
customers
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 from being deceived.

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task achievement
Be sure to cover both sides of the argument more evenly to provide a balanced view. This essay leans heavily towards the positive aspects without adequately exploring the potential negatives.
task achievement
Incorporate more concrete examples to substantiate your points. General statements are made without providing specific, illustrative examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure by consistently using transitional phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the overall flow.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph centralizes around a single idea, supported by examples or further explanation. Avoid overly broad statements.
coherence and cohesion
Revise the introduction and conclusion to more clearly state your thesis and summarize your argument, respectively, ensuring they serve their purposes more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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