IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Three pie charts showing the production of coffee, its consumption, and where profits go by regions

#three #production #coffee #consumption #profits #regions
The pie charts show how
coffee
 production and consumption differ by region. They
also
 show how revenues are allocated by delivery, retailers, exporters, and producers.
Overall
, it can be seen that Europe consumes the most
coffee
,
while
 South Africa is the leading
coffee
 producer. It's
also
 obvious that the majority of the income goes to distribution, with only a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 portion going to exporters.
In particular
, Europe consumes the most
coffee
, accounting for 41% of global consumption.
This
 is closely followed by the United States, which has a rate of 39
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, which is more than three times higher than the combined rate of 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for all other nations. Meanwhile, Japan is the country with the lowest
coffee
 consumption. South Africa,
on the other hand
, tops the world in
coffee
 output with 44
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
 Indonesia accounts for half of that. Japan and Vietnam produce the least amount of
coffee
, at 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 16
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively. In terms of profit distribution, delivery receives 51% of all profits. Retailers account for about half of the total, with 24
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
 manufacturers earn 15%. Exporters receive exactly ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of total revenues, which is five times less than the delivery portion.
Submitted by writingbhos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your essay includes a clear introduction mentioning what the pie charts illustrate, and a conclusion summarizing the main findings. This structure enhances the reader’s understanding.
Clarity and Precision
When discussing data from charts, be precise with the figures and comparisons. Terms like 'a little portion' are less clear than actual percentages or ratios.
Cohesion and Coherence
For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, try to make smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them. Use linking phrases like 'Regarding...', 'Furthermore...', 'In contrast...', etc.
Task Completion
To fully achieve the task, make sure every part of the question is addressed. If the charts show specific regions, your response should cover these regions comprehensively.
Details and Examples
Include specific details and comparisons from the charts. Direct reference to the data supports your points strongly and demonstrates a complete understanding of the information presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: