23.Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

#people #purpose #schools #children #citizens #workers #benefit #individuals

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Eduction

Correct your spelling

Education

show examples

is an

essencial

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essential

element for any society to

florish

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flourish

and grow in today's world. Today's

eduction

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education

show examples

system is contributing to

nation

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the nation

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producting

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producing

good

worker

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workers

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as well as

responsible citizens. I agree with the notation that these values are higher than

indivual

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individual

benefits. I will

eloborate

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elaborate

the same in

coming

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the coming

show examples

paragraphs.

To begin

with,

Schools

teach us many subjects which not only cover

the

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apply

show examples

self development

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self-development

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, science, technology and social science. All these topics will enable us not only to upgrade our knowledge but

also

assess

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to assess

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impacts

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the impacts

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and

responsibility

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responsibilities

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associated

Change preposition

with

show examples

it.

For example

, By learning chemistry you can create

chemical

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a chemical

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bomb but

further

you donate

this

nation

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the nation

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or you sell it to a terrorist that matters. That

ploat

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plot

explain

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explains

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that being a responsible citizen is more

impotant

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important

than gaining knowledge from school for an individual purpose.

Furthmore

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Furthermore

Schools

are educating us not to become individual

performer

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performers

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but

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apply

show examples

team

player

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players

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that

Correct pronoun usage

which

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is why there are many social events happening in

schools

. You can learn anything without

schools

also

but can only learn the importance of

team work

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teamwork

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and

team

contribution from

schools

which applies everywhere, In businesses,

workplace

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the workplace

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and

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apply

show examples

sports etc.

For instance

, a single scientist can not make a rocket to travel to

moon

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the moon

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hence

need

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needs

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to be a

knowleageable

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knowledgeable

worker

as well as

a great

team

player in order to

achive

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achieve

this

mission.

To conclude

schools

are uplifting children to become responsible citizens and good

team

player

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players

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and

also

teaching them how to use

this

knowleage

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knowledge

right

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the right

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direction to benefit the nation, which is the top

most

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apply

show examples

priorty

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priority

for everyone that you learn and

contribute

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contributes

show examples

back to

socity

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society

Submitted by sunil.jakhu on Wed Mar 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction

Refine your introduction to better present your thesis statement and a clearer outline of your essay. This improves the reader's understanding of your argument from the beginning.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider variety of sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow and readability of your essay. This will help in linking ideas and paragraphs more fluidly, improving cohesion.

Grammar & Spelling

Review and correct spelling and grammar mistakes. Accuracy in spelling, punctuation, and grammar adds to the clarity and professionalism of your essay.

Supporting Examples

Enhance your essay by incorporating more specific, real-world examples to support your main points. This provides more grounded arguments and improves task achievement.

Conclusion

Develop and elaborate on your conclusion more comprehensively. Summarize your main points and restate your position clearly, reinforcing the significance of your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social responsibility
foundational knowledge
career success
economic contribution
personal development
critical thinking
creativity
emotional intelligence
balanced education
community well-being
holistic education
academic and personal growth

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23.Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disargee with this statement?

Government of many countries had to impose a lockdown to control the Coronavirus pandemic. What were the advantages and disadvantages of this lockdown.Give eamples from your own experience

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?