23.Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

Eduction
Correct your spelling
Education
show examples
is an
essencial
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essential
element for any society to
florish
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flourish
and grow in today's world. Today's
eduction
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education
show examples
system is contributing to
nation
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the nation
show examples
by
producting
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producing
good
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
as well as
responsible citizens. I agree with the notation that these values are higher than
indivual
Correct your spelling
individual
benefits. I will
eloborate
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elaborate
the same in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
paragraphs.
To begin
with,
Schools
teach us many subjects which not only cover
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self development
Add a hyphen
self-development
show examples
, science, technology and social science. All these topics will enable us not only to upgrade our knowledge but
also
assess
Fix the infinitive
to assess
show examples
impacts
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the impacts
show examples
and
responsibility
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
show examples
associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
it.
For example
, By learning chemistry you can create
chemical
Correct article usage
a chemical
show examples
bomb but
further
you donate
this
to
nation
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the nation
show examples
or you sell it to a terrorist that matters. That
ploat
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plot
explain
Change the verb form
explains
show examples
that being a responsible citizen is more
impotant
Correct your spelling
important
than gaining knowledge from school for an individual purpose.
Furthmore
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Furthermore
,
Schools
are educating us not to become individual
performer
Fix the agreement mistake
performers
show examples
but
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
team
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is why there are many social events happening in
schools
. You can learn anything without
schools
also
but can only learn the importance of
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
and
team
contribution from
schools
which applies everywhere, In businesses,
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sports etc.
For instance
, a single scientist can not make a rocket to travel to
moon
Add an article
the moon
show examples
,
hence
he
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be a
knowleageable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
worker
as well as
a great
team
player in order to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
this
mission.
To conclude
,
schools
are uplifting children to become responsible citizens and good
team
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
and
also
teaching them how to use
this
knowleage
Correct your spelling
knowledge
in
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
direction to benefit the nation, which is the top
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
priorty
Correct your spelling
priority
for everyone that you learn and
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
back to
socity
Correct your spelling
society
.
Submitted by sunil.jakhu on

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Introduction
Refine your introduction to better present your thesis statement and a clearer outline of your essay. This improves the reader's understanding of your argument from the beginning.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow and readability of your essay. This will help in linking ideas and paragraphs more fluidly, improving cohesion.
Grammar & Spelling
Review and correct spelling and grammar mistakes. Accuracy in spelling, punctuation, and grammar adds to the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Supporting Examples
Enhance your essay by incorporating more specific, real-world examples to support your main points. This provides more grounded arguments and improves task achievement.
Conclusion
Develop and elaborate on your conclusion more comprehensively. Summarize your main points and restate your position clearly, reinforcing the significance of your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibility
  • foundational knowledge
  • career success
  • economic contribution
  • personal development
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • balanced education
  • community well-being
  • holistic education
  • academic and personal growth
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