23.Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.
Eduction
is an Correct your spelling
Education
essencial
element for any society to Correct your spelling
essential
florish
and grow in today's world. Today's Correct your spelling
flourish
eduction
system is contributing to Correct your spelling
education
nation
by Add an article
the nation
producting
good Correct your spelling
producing
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
as well as
responsible citizens. I agree with the notation that these values are higher than indivual
benefits. I will Correct your spelling
individual
eloborate
the same in Correct your spelling
elaborate
coming
paragraphs.
Correct article usage
the coming
To begin
with, Schools
teach us many subjects which not only cover the
Correct article usage
apply
self development
, science, technology and social science. All these topics will enable us not only to upgrade our knowledge but Add a hyphen
self-development
also
assess
Fix the infinitive
to assess
impacts
and Correct article usage
the impacts
responsibility
associated Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
to
it. Change preposition
with
For example
, By learning chemistry you can create chemical
bomb but Correct article usage
a chemical
further
you donate this
to nation
or you sell it to a terrorist that matters. That Correct article usage
the nation
ploat
Correct your spelling
plot
explain
that being a responsible citizen is more Change the verb form
explains
impotant
than gaining knowledge from school for an individual purpose.
Correct your spelling
important
Furthmore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Schools
are educating us not to become individual performer
but Fix the agreement mistake
performers
a
Correct article usage
apply
team
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
that
is why there are many social events happening in Correct pronoun usage
which
schools
. You can learn anything without schools
also
but can only learn the importance of team work
and Correct your spelling
teamwork
team
contribution from schools
which applies everywhere, In businesses, workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
and
sports etc. Correct word choice
apply
For instance
, a single scientist can not make a rocket to travel to moon
, Add an article
the moon
hence
he need
to be a Change the verb form
needs
knowleageable
worker Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
as well as
a great team
player in order to achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
this
mission.
To conclude
, schools
are uplifting children to become responsible citizens and good team
player
and Fix the agreement mistake
players
also
teaching them how to use this
knowleage
in Correct your spelling
knowledge
right
direction to benefit the nation, which is the topAdd an article
the right
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
priorty
for everyone that you learn and Correct your spelling
priority
contribute
back to Change the verb form
contributes
socity
.Correct your spelling
society
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Introduction
Refine your introduction to better present your thesis statement and a clearer outline of your essay. This improves the reader's understanding of your argument from the beginning.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow and readability of your essay. This will help in linking ideas and paragraphs more fluidly, improving cohesion.
Grammar & Spelling
Review and correct spelling and grammar mistakes. Accuracy in spelling, punctuation, and grammar adds to the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Supporting Examples
Enhance your essay by incorporating more specific, real-world examples to support your main points. This provides more grounded arguments and improves task achievement.
Conclusion
Develop and elaborate on your conclusion more comprehensively. Summarize your main points and restate your position clearly, reinforcing the significance of your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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