Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
In today's modern world,
education
is the most essential factor of our human life. Some Use synonyms
University
Use synonyms
students
want to learn about different Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
besides
their main subject. Linking Words
While
others argue that it is more important to give all their time to Studying a higher Linking Words
education
. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I am going to discuss both these views and my personal opinion about them.
On the one hand, there are several Linking Words
universities
in the world, and each Use synonyms
university
has a different teaching criteria. Some of the Use synonyms
university
's Use synonyms
education
system has been already fixed. Use synonyms
Thus
, they do not allow pupils to learn new Linking Words
subjects
other than main Use synonyms
subjects
. Use synonyms
For instance
, the Linking Words
University
of California can permit the teachers to allow newcomers to learn new Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
such
as art and music that might have an impact on Linking Words
students
's academic qualifications. And there are some possibilities to reduce the Use synonyms
university
's results. Use synonyms
As a result
, the effects of these changes may affect teacher's Linking Words
as well as
student's futures.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, I believe that Linking Words
universities
should allow Use synonyms
students
to learn other Use synonyms
subjects
. Because some Use synonyms
students
want to grow their passion. Use synonyms
For example
, some teenagers love to sing music and dancing so, Linking Words
teachers
should encourage those Correct word choice
so teachers
students
and support them in developing their careers.
In conclusion, it depends upon the Use synonyms
universities
that already made a good Use synonyms
education
system, but Use synonyms
Universities
should allow pupils to learn something new. It is not true that Use synonyms
students
give their Use synonyms
all-time
to studying for a qualification.Correct your spelling
all time
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task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and clearly states your position. While the introduction attempts to outline the essay, it could be more concise and directly state your thesis.
task achievement
Develop your body paragraphs with clear, comprehensive ideas supported by specific examples. The essay would benefit from more detailed examples and an explanation of how these examples support your main points.
task achievement
Work on presenting a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion. The essay leans towards one side without fully exploring the counterargument.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together. While some attempt has been made, there's room for smoother transitions and clearer connections between points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical structure by introducing your main points in the introduction, discussing each point in its paragraph in the body, and summarizing these points in the conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.