3. Some people say that the best way to reduce traffic and pollution is the government to increase tax of petrol (gasoline). Do you think there are more benefits or more drawbacks?
Pollution
has become one of the main problems in the whole world. There are many things that affect pollution
, such
as traffic
. Traffic
and pollution
are connected to each other, the more traffic
the more pollution
. Many people believe that increasing the tax
on petrol or gasoline
is the best way to decrease the amount of traffic
and pollution
rate. The increasing tax
of
Change preposition
on
patrol
or Correct your spelling
petrol
gasoline
brings positif
and Correct your spelling
positive
negatif
effects at the same time.
Correct your spelling
negative
Patrol
or gasoline
are
one of the Change the verb form
is
transportation
main need
. It is the energy source of Fix the agreement mistake
needs
transportations
. Transportations are used for many purposes, for Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
the
example for deliveries. If Correct article usage
apply
tax
Correct article usage
the tax
of
Change preposition
on
gasoline
increases, the cost of the deliveries is going to increase also
. It means that the increasing of the cost will happen to the stuff which are
carried by deliveries as well. The stuff that I mean like rice, vegetables, fruits, Change the verb form
is
textile
, oil, Fix the agreement mistake
textiles
and
et cetera. The impact will Correct word choice
apply
so
big.
Add a missing verb
be so
In contrast
, the increasing of
Change preposition
apply
tax
of
Change preposition
on
patrol
or Correct your spelling
petrol
gasoline
has benefits as well. It can reduce the number of transportation
. People will choose to use public transportation
instead
of private transportation
because the cost will be cheaper. The less of
private Change preposition
apply
transportation
the less pollution
, which is good for environment
. Add an article
the environment
Moreover
, the
less of using private Correct article usage
apply
transportation
can increase the possibility of physical activity of a person. For the
example, they will go to a stop on foot to catch a bus.
Correct article usage
apply
To sum up
, i
would suggest that Change the capitalization
I
government
can choose to increase the Correct article usage
the government
patrol's
Change noun form
patrol
tax
to reduce the
Correct article usage
apply
pollution
and traffic
. However
, there are a lot of things that need to be concerned
especially for Verb problem
considered
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
the
inflation.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task, presenting both benefits and drawbacks of increasing petrol tax. However, you could improve by exploring the arguments in more depth and presenting more specific examples that clearly illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer logical structure and transitions between paragraphs. Improve coherence by making sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, and use linking phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed. The introduction should more clearly state your position on the issue, and the conclusion should summarise your arguments more effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.