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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the performance of a bus company in terms of punctuality, both actual and target (what actually happened compared to what the company was trying to achieve), and the number of complaints from passengers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The charts below show the performance of a bus company in terms of punctuality, both actual and target (what actually happened compared to what the company was trying to achieve), and the number of complaints from passengers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of a bus company's performance in terms of actual and
target
Use synonyms
punctuality
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
complaints
Use synonyms
 from passengers. From 1999 to 2003. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective,
target
Use synonyms
punctuality
Use synonyms
 was higher proportion than actual
service
Use synonyms
 of
punctuality
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
complaints
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
show examples
 of the
year
Use synonyms
 to until end of the
year
Use synonyms
. In detail, in 1999,
target
Use synonyms
punctuality
Use synonyms
 was higher than providing
service
Use synonyms
 ilof actually, which accounts for 86 per
cent
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 next
year
Use synonyms
, there was a dramatic difference between
target
Use synonyms
 and actual
punctuality
Use synonyms
, at 86
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 and 82 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively. these two years
target
Use synonyms
 of providing
service
Use synonyms
 on time was the same number. In 2000,
target
Use synonyms
punctuality
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 85 per
cent
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 actual
service
Use synonyms
 on time
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 83
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. In 2002, the bus company
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
 the same
target
Use synonyms
, which was 85 per
cent
Use synonyms
 but actual
punctuality
Use synonyms
 was reduced as compared to the previous
year
Use synonyms
, at 84 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, actual
punctuality
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dominated the
target
Use synonyms
punctuality
Use synonyms
, which accounts for around 84 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and 83 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
complaints
Use synonyms
 from passengers in 1999, just 70
then
Linking Words
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by 100 in 2000.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
complaints
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 reduced slightly, which was 82. From 2000 to 2003,
complaints
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from 110
to120
Correct your spelling
to 120
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words target, punctuality, complaints, service, year, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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