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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #summarise #features #comparisons
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The graph line provides information on the
population
Use synonyms
 volume in Asian Countries for 5 decades and illustrates the forecast for 20 years ahead.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 in all Asian Countries fluctuated from the beginning to 2020.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the forecast for each
population
Use synonyms
 (Philippines,
Thailand
Use synonyms
, Malaysia and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
) in
Use synonyms
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2030 and 2040 grows steadily. Regarding the data,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 had similar growth from
year
Use synonyms
 1970 until 1990,
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 around 5% - 10% up. In
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000, the
population
Use synonyms
 of
Thailand
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 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 percentage which
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 28%.
Indonesia
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’s
population
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increase
Wrong verb form
has increased
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 rapidly since
year
Use synonyms
 2010 to 40 years ahead and the growth of
Thailand
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’s
population
Use synonyms
growth
Verb problem
has grown
show examples
 too
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
slowly.
However
Linking Words
, Malaysia’s and
Philippines’s
Correct article usage
the Philippines’s
show examples
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 were the highest among
another country
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
show examples
 from 1970 to
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000. The condition changed in
Use synonyms
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2010 and 2020,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 was the
runner up
Add a hyphen
runner-up
show examples
 of the
population
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mursyidahnurul89 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, thailand, indonesia, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
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