COins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and back cards. DO you agree or disagree that eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone?
A multitude of
people
that credit
cards
and bank cards
will change the way individuals do transfers directly. I sincerely agree that transactions which most people
do transaction using cash
will be changed by e-money because we don't need to go to an automated teller machine to take cash
and the trend of buying in an online shop just by handphone is easier than proceeding in a traditional market. The main agenda of the impending treasure is to elaborate my certitudes with befitting examples and end with rational conclusions.
Commencement with my rationalization, there are multifarious ideas to justify it is a good trend to prominent one
is going to take cash
in automated teller machine will waste time where nowadays the cyber securities have done well and safety. The existence does not make people
go to the bank to take money which just makes them walk or use their vehicle which just makes it extravagant. To illustrate individuals who go to the ATM using a car automatically use a
gasoline as their vehicle fuel Remove the article
apply
whereas
if
using Correct word choice
apply
credit
cards
does not do something like that, furthermore
gasoline of
Change preposition
in
vehicle
is really bad for the environment. No Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
one
can deny that, this
is indeed one
-day credit
cards
or backup cards
make
our life truly simple and can save using non-renewable energy.
Exploring ahead the topic. Correct pronoun usage
that make
One
more worth noticing crux is many people
have done to buy their stuff on online shops as an easier way to save time. An apt core in point is said to be the simplicity of online shop
beneficial with just clicking on the phone and waiting for the courier Replace the word
shopping
come
to our home. As a case in point connect our Fix the infinitive
to come
credit
accounts in marketplaces then
make a purchase of anything we need to fulfil the necessary with Correct word choice
and then
one
click, it does not make us go through the street come
to every shop which supplies our needs.
Based on the above discussion, Fix the infinitive
to come
it is clear that
although
citizens still do the traditional way which is to do transactions by using cash
. I believe that in the future this
thing will change because bank cards
and credit
cards
easier everyone's life. In the long run for both the society and the relevance of those things, the Siber securities have to be stronger and more strong for saving people
money.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay should provide a clearer logical structure. While your ideas are present, they feel scattered and not efficiently organized. Try to outline your essay before you write to ensure each paragraph has a clear purpose and flows smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but could be more specific and tied more directly to your arguments. Make sure each example explicitly supports the point you are making to strengthen your task achievement score.
task achievement
Ensure that you maintain consistent tenses and avoid unnecessary repetition of certain phrases or ideas to maintain clear and comprehensive ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets up your agreement with the statement well by clearly stating your stance and the points you will explore in your essay.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant and appropriate examples to support your points, particularly when discussing the convenience of online shopping and the environmental impact of using vehicles to withdraw cash.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.