IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

While several metropolitan cities adopted the idea of vertical development as a solution for housing, other cities chose wider areas for building houses. I totally agree with the former idea as ample reasons are present to substantiate it.

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While
Linking Words
 several metropolitan cities adopted the idea of vertical
development
Use synonyms
 as a solution for housing, other cities chose wider areas for building houses. I totally agree with the former idea as ample reasons are present to substantiate it. First and foremost, one of the obvious advantages of taller buildings for accommodation
development
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 is less
space
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 utilization.
In other words
Linking Words
, since a single taller building can accommodate several
apartments
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,
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space
Correct article usage
the space
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 required to build a single apartment is much lower than independent homes.
As a result
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, free spaces can be utilized for construction of community spaces
such
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 as sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 and recreational areas.
Moreover
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, the majority
taller
Change preposition
of taller
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apartments
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 in cities have a green
space
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 to relax,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is essential for the physical health and mental health of the residents.
Furthermore
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, as toller buildings can accommodate more families in limited
space
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,
people
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 can easily socialise with their neighbours. In detail,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
apartments
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 enable the connection among occupants, which is imperative for social
development
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.
For example
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, the several residential associations in Dubai included
people
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 from around the globe which helped them for cultural understanding.
Besides
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,
taller
Correct article usage
a taller
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 building is
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
the suitable
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 place to live
elderly
Change preposition
with elderly
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people
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 as it is
easly
Correct your spelling
easy
easily
access
Replace the word
accessible
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 for facilities like elevators and sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. Taller
apartments
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 have
chosen
Add a missing verb
been chosen
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 as retirement homes for several families around the globe since
not
Correct pronoun usage
they not
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 only
easy
Add a missing verb
have easy
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 access to facilities but
also
Linking Words
 feel less isolated. In conclusion, vertical buildings
are required
Wrong verb form
require
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 only minimum
space
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 for
development
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 compared to independent homes. Accessible to green
space
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 and contemporary facilities are major advantages for young and older
people
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.

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task achievement
It's important to thoroughly address the prompt, ensuring a balanced discussion if required and clearly stating your position. Your essay currently leans heavily towards one point of view without considering counterarguments or discussing the topic from different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows an attempt at organizing ideas but can benefit from clearer logical progression and better paragraph structures. Consider using topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to outline the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas within and across paragraphs. This will help your essay flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are distinct and effectively frame your essay. The introduction should broadly state the topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and reiterate your position without introducing new information.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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