The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The
Government
must be concerned about how the citizen survives their lives
. Citizen’s lives
are influenced by many aspects. It needs science
to make the innovation or something new to help their lives
. I totally agree with the argument, that the goals of science
should make a better change for citizens’ lives
and will be discussed in this
essay.
First of all, many factors can affect the citizens’ live
. In my opinion, technology Replace the word
lives
science
is the most important. It can make everything sound so easy to live. For instance
, they can make a sophisticated car operated by hybrid
, electric vehicle (car, bicycle, motorcycle), make instant food (easy to cook, easy to eat), make Correct article usage
a hybrid
new
vaccine to heal the new viruses (Add an article
a new
covid
), make people can go to the other planet and other future discovery.
Correct your spelling
COVID
Moreover
, particularly developed countries try to make everything sophisticated in every way. Nevertheless
, science
should be supported by scientists. The Government
should make the new scientist
year by year. Recently, Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
instead
of being scientists, young people prefer to be a
Correct article usage
apply
employee
or Fix the agreement mistake
employees
entrepreneur
. Fix the agreement mistake
entrepreneurs
This
is the challenge for every Government
, how to create more and more scientist
by Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
give
additional Wrong verb form
giving
benefit
for the Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
scientist
or Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
make
a particular policy for Wrong verb form
making
scientist
.
In conclusion, People’s Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
live
depend on how far the goal of Replace the word
lives
science
.
If The Add a missing verb
is.
Government
want to make a change for
Change preposition
in
the
people’s Correct article usage
apply
live
, Replace the word
lives
they
should Correct pronoun usage
it
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
to
Change preposition
with
science
and cerate
more and more Correct your spelling
create
scientist
. I ensure that every Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
science
has a good affect
Replace the word
effect
to increase
Change preposition
on increasing
the
people’s Correct article usage
apply
live
.Replace the word
lives
Submitted by mursyidahnurul89 on
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task response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the question from the beginning. While your introduction mentions the importance of science in improving lives, it could be more direct in agreeing with the statement presented.
task response
Work on making your main points more explicitly connected to the question. For example, when discussing the impact of technology and innovation, clearly link how these improvements directly contribute to enhancing people's lives, according to the essay prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea followed by supporting sentences. Your essay shows an attempt at this, but clearer topic sentences could enhance understanding and flow.
coherence and cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words, pronouns) to help the reader see connections between ideas. While your essay uses some, varying them more could improve readability.
coherence and cohesion
Include a conclusion that not only restates your position but also briefly summarizes the main points introduced in your essay. This strengthens your argument and clarity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.