IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for your advice on whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: ° Say why sge will not enjoy going to college ° Explain why getting a job is a good idea ° Suggest the type of job that would be suitable.

#friend #advice #college #job #sge #idea #type
Dear Sir or Madam, I recently asked a friend for advice. Help me get into a
college
 or find a
job
. It was nice to offer my friend a
job
. Because he doesn't want to study in
college
 or
work
. He had a hard time at his previous
college
. That's why he hates
college
. My friend found me a good
job
. I was very happy. Because I really like to
work
. I think getting a
job
 is a very good idea. I think everyone likes to get a
job
. Because when a person works, he finds energy and strength. The more a person works, the healthier he is. That's why it's
such
 a good idea to get a
job
. I can
work
 in any
job
. I can do it. I can do everything. But I want to
work
 in one
job
.
This
 is what I like to do. The
work
 that suits me is translation. I love
this
job
 very much. I find strength and energy when I
work
 at
this
job
. I
also
 make friends in the field of translation. I really like it.
Work
 in one good field too. It's a good idea, for yourself. Yours faithfully, Mokhinur
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure the introduction directly addresses the prompt, clearly stating your position on advising your friend to get a job rather than going to college.
task response
Provide specific reasons why college might not be enjoyable for your friend, based on their interests, goals, or previous experiences, to make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to strengthen coherence, such as one paragraph on why college might not be enjoyable, another on the benefits of working, and a third suggesting a suitable job.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear and varied sentence structures to improve readability and engage the reader. Avoid repetitiveness by using synonyms and different sentence constructions.
coherence and cohesion
Include a more conventional greeting and closing for a letter to a friend. For example, start with 'Dear [Friend's Name],' and close with a friendly sign-off like 'Best wishes,' or 'Yours sincerely,' followed by your name.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: