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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information about the number of books rented in a British local library in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the number of books rented in a British local library in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #books #british #library #summarise #features #comparisons
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The image below
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 enumerates the
number
 of
books
 rented for a period of 12
months
 in a British local library. In 2009, in the first
month
 of the year, the
number
 of rented
books
 is 10,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is almost double if we compare
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
show examples
 the next two
months
, when the
number
 of rented
books
 is 6 and respectively 7.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 next four
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 the
number
 of
books
 is very close,
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 15 in May and July,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
13
April
Change preposition
in April
show examples
 and 14
June
Change preposition
in June
show examples
. Moving forward, in the first six
months
 of the year 2009, the
number
 of rented
books
, can not go more than 15 pieces, but just two
months
 after, in August, the library reached
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
20
books
,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is exactly double if we compare with the
fisrt
Correct your spelling
first
month
.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 next three
months
 the
number
 of
books
 suffer a decline, from 20
books
 in August,
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 9
books
 just three
monts
Correct your spelling
months
 later.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
last
month
 of the year, in
december
Change the capitalization
December
show examples
, the
number
 of rented
books
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 the top with 21 rented
books
, more than
Correct article usage
the fisrt
show examples
fisrt
Correct your spelling
first
 two
months
tougheter
Correct your spelling
together
 and the most rented
books
also
 in the
last
month
.
Submitted by atomoiaga46 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, books, months, month with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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