Some employers offer their employees subsidized memberships of gyms and sport clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work, other employers see no benefit in doing so. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

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In some companies, managers think they have to create some clubs or gyms for their employees and could help
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to reach the aim of the company and employees more than work.
on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
science
Add an article
the science

The noun phrase science seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
managing
Replace the word
management

The word managing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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some argue
about
Change preposition
that

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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it is not a good idea and it can help to raise
of
Correct your spelling
or

The word of doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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make goods.
in
Capitalize word
In

The word in should be capitalized in this context.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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try to discuss two ideas and
the
Change preposition
at the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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end
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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speak about my idea.
firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when you have
Add an article
a

The noun phrase healthy staff seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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healthy
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. you shouldn'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have a good insecurity, and you save more money. so your
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

don'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

go to rest
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

your
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to have time for go to
gym
Add an article
the gym

The noun phrase gym seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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but
Remove the conjunction
apply

It appears that the word but is unnecessary in this sentence. Consider removing it.

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it's not anxious.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

secondly
Add a comma
secondly,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase secondly. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
nowadays I see the generation has changed and people like to play sport or be athletes because many people are advertising
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue that helps bosses to control the
freetimes
Correct your spelling
free times
free time

If you don’t want freetimes to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of their
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.specially in new companies that need
invite
Fix the infinitive
to invite

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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people to produce new goods .scientists explored
about
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Add an article
the affect
show examples
affect
Replace the word
effect

The word affect may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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of sport to work brain and it's very good. opposite idea , it
focuse
Correct your spelling
focuses
focus

If you don’t want focuse to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to if workout can'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

help to raise of products so we don'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to do.They said I can invest
to
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
another models
Replace the adjective
another model
other models

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun models. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

show examples
.
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they will be able to reserve
hotel
Add an article
a hotel
the hotel

The noun phrase hotel seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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for their
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and they can use
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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rest
Correct article usage
the rest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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.though
It's
Verb problem
it

There may be a verb use issue here.

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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps

It seems that the verb help does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to connect to their family.
inaddition
Correct your spelling
In addition

If you don’t want inaddition to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
boss
Add an article
the boss
a boss

The noun phrase boss seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
can get more
salariess
Correct your spelling
salaries

If you don’t want salariess to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
help
Change the verb form
helping

The verb help may be in the wrong form after the preposition for. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

show examples
them.if
boss
Add an article
the boss

The noun phrase boss seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
can increase
produces
Replace the word
production

The word produces doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
actually they can get more money. in conclusion ,I think
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

important part of a factory and managers must help them to get the best end up. If they increase
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

show examples
area they will
can
Remove a modal verb
apply

The verbs, will and can, are both modal verbs. You cannot use two modal verbs in one clause. Remove one of these verbs.

show examples
bound some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of
staff
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and don'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to use
another
Correct quantifier usage
other

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

show examples
thing
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their company.I
thing
Correct your spelling
think

The word thing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
Correct article usage
a sportman

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
sportman
Correct your spelling
sportsman
sportsmen

If you don’t want sportman to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

better than
inactive
Correct article usage
an inactive

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
man.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay clearly. Start with an introduction that clearly states the topic and your opinion, followed by paragraphs each discussing one view, and conclude with your opinion summarizing the discussed views.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points more fully with specific examples and explanations. Currently, the essay lacks clear examples and detailed explanations that support the opinion or views being discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphs to organize your ideas more clearly. Each main idea should be in its own paragraph, with a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of grammar and spelling. Errors can make your essay difficult to understand and distract from your argument.
Task Achievement
For improved task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt. Include a discussion of both views as well as a clear statement of your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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