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Writing Samples
Band 5

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given tables
inform
Verb problem
show
show examples
 how
temperatures
Use synonyms
 and
hours
Use synonyms
 of daylight in two different cities changed during a specified weekend in winter 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
temperatures
Use synonyms
 in Sydney
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 twice to three times higher than those in
London
Use synonyms
. The
hours
Use synonyms
 of daylight in Sydney were
also
Linking Words
 remarkably longer, indicated by earlier sunrise and later sunset
hours
Use synonyms
 than that in
London
Use synonyms
. In
London
Use synonyms
, the
temperatures
Use synonyms
 witnessed a slight fluctuation in the maximum and minimum
temperatures
Use synonyms
 during the weekend. They started off at nine and four
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
, respectively,
then
Linking Words
 increased by four units and one unit, and
finally
Linking Words
 ended at ten and five
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
. The sunrise and sunset
hours
Use synonyms
 saw no change over these days, and the sun shined for approximately seven
hours
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
temperatures
Use synonyms
 in Sydney steadily and slowly increased by just one or two units, with the maximum and minimum
temperatures
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 being 26 and 17
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
, respectively, and reached 31 and 19
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
 Sunday. The sunrise and sunset
hours
Use synonyms
, like those in
London
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, were of little difference between these days. The sunlight
hours
Use synonyms
 were around 15
hours
Use synonyms
, which nearly doubled the figure for
London
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperatures, hours, london, degrees, celsius with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • The tables compare
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • ranged from
  • consistently high
  • slight increase
  • remained stable
  • significantly fewer
  • enjoyed
  • overall
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