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Band 4.5

A lot of charities and organisations have to publicize their activities by setting up a number of days to name the special days like National Children's day and National non smoking day why do they do so? What are the effects

#charities #organisations #activities #name #children #effects
There are particular
days
from
Change preposition
for
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 the organizations and charities to promote or campaign about
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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 to society,
such
 as National Children’s
Day
 and National Non-smoking
Day
.
This
 essay will discuss the reason and the effect of the special
days
.
To begin
 with, giving a unique name on several
days
 by the institution is
effective
Add an article
an effective
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 way to campaign about
issue
Correct article usage
the issue
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. The institution is
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
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 awareness among the society and
letting
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let
show examples
 them know the reason behind
of
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apply
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celebrating on
special
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a special
show examples
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
.
For instance
, the government of Indonesia made “National Children”
Day
 to emphasize the importance of giving love, affection and attention to children.
Moreover
, to spread awareness about the hardships and difficulties they have to go through.
As a result
, people are now more aware and they
treated
Verb problem
try
show examples
 to make their
child's
Fix the agreement mistake
children's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 better.
Secondly
, there are some special
days
 dedicated to improving our
overall
 health.
For example
, “National Non-smoking
Day
” is celebrated all over the world to spread awareness about the harmful effects smoking has on our lungs and breathing. Many charities and medical organizations
such
 as hospitals and laboratories arrange special rehab programs for those who are trying to quit smoking.
Therefore
, others are
also
 encouraged to participate and improve their well-being. In conclusion, the celebration of
such
days
 should be encouraged as they help in educating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and they can
also
 force the administration
in proposing
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to propose
show examples
 rules and regulations to protect several people who need the aid.
Submitted by writingieltsband9 on

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Consider adding more varied and in-depth examples to support your points and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, aim to enhance the logical flow of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help connect your ideas more smoothly and make your argument more persuasive.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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