IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph depicts the results of a result that has been conducted in order to figure out the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's movement to the specific country's capital city between 2000 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 that moved to another country's capital for
studying
Replace the word
study
show examples
, gathering with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family and adventure increased in the provided period. Meanwhile, moving for a career tended to have an incline in almost all of the years and declined in 2015. Based on the survey, employment took the main position
Change preposition
as
show examples
the reason why
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 moved until 2010. It was around 6000 workers moved in 2000,
then
Linking Words
 it hovered over the years and peaked in 2010 with around 9000 in figure. In 2015, the figure declined
along with
Linking Words
 the significant increase in folk who desired to study abroad.
This
Linking Words
 resulted in a condition that both
people
Use synonyms
 who move for work and study have the same quantity. Moving the relatives and journey seemed to be insignificant in number. With a similar number at the beginning of the period, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
moving for family and colleagues nearly doubled in
people
Use synonyms
 inspired to move for adventure in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, both reasons are nothing
statistically
Change the word
statistical
show examples
 in comparison with the two main motives: working and studying

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: