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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #uk #purposes #information #features #comparisons
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The graphic line depicts how many visitors from all around the world visited the UK in order to various reasons including business,
holiday
Use synonyms
, and meeting friends and relatives from the year 1989 until 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that a majority of people came to
this
Linking Words
 area for
holiday
Use synonyms
 purposes. Meeting family members and friends,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, contains the lowest
number
Use synonyms
. Regarding to comparison between the three categories,
holiday
Use synonyms
 has the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of all, as it is shown that 6.5
million
Use synonyms
 people came to the UK to spend their
holiday
Use synonyms
 in 1989.
This
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
,
moreover
Linking Words
, sharply rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between the years 1994 and 1999, and illustrates the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of 9
million
Use synonyms
 visitors.
This
Linking Words
 data,
however
Linking Words
, experienced a decrease in 2004 and reached the same
number
Use synonyms
 as the starting point, and
then
Linking Words
 eventually got to 9
million
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year of
this
Linking Words
 period. Business,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, had a fluctuation and the data did not remain stable, as it started with 5
million
Use synonyms
 individuals in 1989 and
then
Linking Words
 ended up with 7
million
Use synonyms
 visitors in the
last
Linking Words
 year of
this
Linking Words
 period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, meeting family and friends, had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals with 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 1989,
then
Linking Words
 rose to the maximum
number
Use synonyms
 of 7
million
Use synonyms
, but
then
Linking Words
 fell to 1
million
Use synonyms
 less in
number
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the greatest purpose for all the individuals in the globe is to visit
this
Linking Words
 country in
holiday
Use synonyms
 time.
Submitted by vaniaa.z.h2005 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, on the other hand".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words holiday, number, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • trend
  • fluctuations
  • statistics
  • year-on-year comparison
  • peak periods
  • holidaymakers
  • business trips
  • educational tourism
  • significant increase/decrease
  • data interpretation
  • exponential growth
  • steady decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cultural events
  • tourist influx
  • graph analysis
  • quantitative change
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