IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the coment-making process, and how coment is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams below
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the stages used in the
cement
Use synonyms
-making process and
equipment
Correct article usage
the equipment
show examples
 which helps to produce concrete out of
cement
Use synonyms
, for building purposes. The first
diagram
Use synonyms
 illustrates
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 which concludes 4 stages
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crushing limestone and clay,
then
Linking Words
 mixing in
mixer
Correct article usage
a mixer
show examples
 crushed powder is mixed and
heat
Wrong verb form
heated
show examples
 through
specialized
Add an article
a specialized
show examples
 machine called
rotating
Correct article usage
a rotating
show examples
 heater, as it heats
finally
Linking Words
 goes to
grinder
Add an article
the grinder
a grinder
show examples
 and becomes. The second
diagram
Use synonyms
 shows concrete
production
Use synonyms
 which includes 4
ingridients
Correct your spelling
ingredients
, it is
cement
Use synonyms
 15 %,water 10%,sand 25% and gravel 50% . All these products are
mixes
Wrong verb form
mixed
show examples
 in
machine
Add an article
a machine
show examples
 called
concrete
Add an article
a concrete
show examples
 mixer.
Overall
Linking Words
, the first process
diagram
Use synonyms
 shows
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
, meanwhile the second
diagram
Use synonyms
 is about concrete
production
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, diagram, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • raw materials
  • grinding
  • heating process
  • kilns
  • clinker
  • gypsum
  • machinery
  • crushers
  • grinders
  • rotary kilns
  • ball mills
  • sand
  • gravel
  • versatility
  • civil engineering
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