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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the coment-making process, and how coment is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the coment-making process, and how coment is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
#diagrams #show #stages #equipment #process #coment #purposes
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The diagrams below
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the stages used in the
cement
Use synonyms
-making process and
equipment
Correct article usage
the equipment
show examples
 which helps to produce concrete out of
cement
Use synonyms
, for building purposes. The first
diagram
Use synonyms
 illustrates
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 which concludes 4 stages
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crushing limestone and clay,
then
Linking Words
 mixing in
mixer
Correct article usage
a mixer
show examples
 crushed powder is mixed and
heat
Wrong verb form
heated
show examples
 through
specialized
Add an article
a specialized
show examples
 machine called
rotating
Correct article usage
a rotating
show examples
 heater, as it heats
finally
Linking Words
 goes to
grinder
Add an article
the grinder
a grinder
show examples
 and becomes. The second
diagram
Use synonyms
 shows concrete
production
Use synonyms
 which includes 4
ingridients
Correct your spelling
ingredients
, it is
cement
Use synonyms
 15 %,water 10%,sand 25% and gravel 50% . All these products are
mixes
Wrong verb form
mixed
show examples
 in
machine
Add an article
a machine
show examples
 called
concrete
Add an article
a concrete
show examples
 mixer.
Overall
Linking Words
, the first process
diagram
Use synonyms
 shows
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
, meanwhile the second
diagram
Use synonyms
 is about concrete
production
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, diagram, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • raw materials
  • grinding
  • heating process
  • kilns
  • clinker
  • gypsum
  • machinery
  • crushers
  • grinders
  • rotary kilns
  • ball mills
  • sand
  • gravel
  • versatility
  • civil engineering
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