There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
These days , every adolescent is trying to learn new
subjects
, but there are many types of lessons
that are not necessary for students
. In addition
, many school programs have cookery and physical education classes. However
, people claim that teenagers should learn every lesson and participate.
Firstly
, most of the students
love to play football and physical
activities, but some of the Add a missing verb
do physical
lessons
have to be more
prioritized. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Nevertheless
, every youngster should have activities , without some specific actions for physical exercises students
would have sedentary
lifestyle . Add an article
a sedentary
Children
need Fix the infinitive
to concentration
concentration
Replace the word
concentrate
for
academic Change preposition
on
subjects
. School systems should give students
specific lessons
to be creative or to rest .
Secondly
, there are many schools that are competing in some sport
games . In my opinion, non-academic Change the noun form
sports
subjects
should be in schools
programs the particular reason for the circumstance is activities that are helping Fix the agreement mistake
school
children
to enhance their physical skills . This
sort of action can create an eminent
Correct the article-noun agreement
an eminent student
eminent students
students
. Furthermore
, cookery subjects
are also
significant because children
should know how to cook while
being alone.
To sum up
, there many
ways to upgrade school academic achievement but not necessary Add a missing verb
are many
subjects
should be studied. For instance
, sport
games give Change the noun form
sports
children
competitive skills and make them more productive. As a result
, non- academic
Correct your spelling
non-academic
lessons
are important for student
and they can assist kids to be creative or well-organized.Fix the agreement mistake
students
Submitted by muradismailbayli on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction and Conclusion Enhancement
Consider creating a more engaging introduction and a stronger conclusion to effectively set the context and summarise your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion Improvement
Ensure a clear logical structure throughout your essay by using paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, and linking sentences more smoothly to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Response Enhancement
To improve task achievement, make sure your essay fully addresses the question. Provide a clearer stance on the topic and back up your points with specific examples or evidence.
Sentence Structure Enhancement
Strive for variety in sentence structures to create more interesting and complex expressions. This will also help in conveying your points more effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!