There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

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These days , every adolescent is trying to learn new

subjects

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, but there are many types of

lessons

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that are not necessary for

students

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In addition

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, many school programs have cookery and physical education classes.

However

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, people claim that teenagers should learn every lesson and participate.

Firstly

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, most of the

students

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love to play football and

physical

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do physical

show examples

activities, but some of the

lessons

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have to be

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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prioritized.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, every youngster should have activities , without some specific actions for physical exercises

students

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would have

sedentary

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a sedentary

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lifestyle .

Children

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need

Fix the infinitive

to concentration

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concentration

Replace the word

concentrate

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for

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show examples

academic

subjects

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. School systems should give

students

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specific

lessons

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to be creative or to rest .

Secondly

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, there are many schools that are competing in some

sport

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sports

show examples

games . In my opinion, non-academic

subjects

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should be in

schools

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school

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programs the particular reason for the circumstance is activities that are helping

children

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to enhance their physical skills .

This

Linking Words

sort of action can create

an eminent

Correct the article-noun agreement

an eminent student

eminent students

show examples

students

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Furthermore

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, cookery

subjects

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are

also

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significant because

children

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should know how to cook

while

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being alone.

To sum up

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, there

many

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are many

show examples

ways to upgrade school academic achievement but not necessary

subjects

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should be studied.

For instance

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sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

games give

children

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competitive skills and make them more productive.

As a result

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non- academic

Correct your spelling

non-academic

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lessons

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are important for

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

and they can assist kids to be creative or well-organized.

Submitted by muradismailbayli on Sat Mar 09 2024

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

228 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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