In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could best be taken to solve it?

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Over the past few decades, the number of children and teenagers spending the majority of their

time

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indoors has drastically increased.

This

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situation has sparked serious debate among adults about the causes of

this

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problem and the best measures to solve it. The reasons behind

this

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problem are profoundly rooted in the way technology and educational systems have evolved worldwide. The rise of smartphones is one of the first

ones

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things

show examples

to be taken into account. Nowadays, many teenagers and children choose to spend extensive periods of

time

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on social media applications at home

instead

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of going out with their friends.

Therefore

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, the comfort provided by their room and the addictive content they consume are more attractive than the outside environment. Another factor

with a

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show examples

major importance is the increasing workload at school. Feeling exhausted after finishing their homework, fewer students find the motivation to go outside for a walk.

This

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worrying phenomenon demands effective measures. In my opinion, the

status-quo

Correct your spelling

status quo

could change, provided that the authorities and parents unite their efforts.

Firstly

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, stricter regulations regarding internet usage by minors should be introduced.

Secondly

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, schools should target more practical tasks as homework where possible,

that

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which

show examples

could be done outside.

Lastly

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, parents should pay attention to their

time

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-management skills starting from a young age and help them improve through games and books, especially until they reach their teens.

Moreover

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, they should constantly encourage them to spend their free

time

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outside. In

this

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way, they will be discouraged

to spend

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from spending

show examples

their

time

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indoors. In conclusion, I believe that the discussed subject is highly complex, having causes of various

nature

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natures

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However

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, a tailored approach to

this

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problem,

coupled with

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a strong cooperation between parents and state institutions, is of paramount importance in overcoming it.

acaitaz

Mar 9, 2024

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task response

For task response, add one more clear real life example for each main idea.

task response

For task response, make your solutions more direct and a bit more full.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, some link words are good, but a few parts sound less natural. Keep your sentences more simple and direct.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, make each body paragraph follow one very clear plan: main idea, explain, example.

task response

You answer both parts of the question clearly: causes and solutions.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Your ideas are easy to follow in most parts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could best be taken to solve it?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case Do you think this is a positive or negative situation

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face-to-face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?