Some people think that organizing international sports events is good for the host country while others think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

In
this
age and era,
sports
play a crucial role in one's life.
Myraid
Correct your spelling
Myriad
of
people
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
.
Few
Correct article usage
A few
show examples
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
believe that inviting players from all over the world is best for the
growth
of their
country
whereas
, others think that, it can be harmful for some reasons.
As per
Change preposition
In
show examples
my
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
sports
bring
prosparity
Correct your spelling
prosperity
to the
country
.
This
essay will show both
the
Change the word
my
show examples
views and my opinion in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
paragraphs.
To begin
with,
oragnizing
Correct your spelling
organising
world-wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
sports
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
in one's
country
is very helpful in
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
the economic
growth
of the
country
which means that,
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
number of
people
and players will come from different
countries
in order to watch and play the games.
However
,
this
will make that
country
the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
of attraction for tourists and
sports loving
Add a hyphen
sports-loving
show examples
individuals.
For instance
, a study was done on the economic
growth
related to
sports
in different
countries
the results showed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
contry
Correct your spelling
country
in which most
sports
events are held
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more
growth
.
In addition
to
this
,
helding
Correct your spelling
holding
these events helps the
country
to attract
towars
Correct your spelling
towards
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
culture and traditions. Tourists who have keen
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
in different cultures and learning
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
of languages play a vital role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
country
which means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
go back to their own
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
and talk about new
culture
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cultures
show examples
,
lifestyle
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lifestyles
show examples
, food and clothing which
further
generates interest
of
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in
show examples
other tourist
Change the wording
another tourist
other tourists
show examples
to visit.
Apart from
this
,
toursits
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tourists
spends
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spend
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
amount of money
in
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on
show examples
hotels and
cafe's
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cafe
show examples
which is a great seasonal income for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
On the other hand
, many
thinks
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think
show examples
that the increase of tourist from all around the world
pollute
Correct subject-verb agreement
pollutes
show examples
their natural environment.
Moreover
,
people
are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
the rules of that
country
.
For example
, a study was held which included some
countries
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
result
revieled
Correct your spelling
revealed
that, the
country
which has more visitors
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more pollution and uncleaned streets.
This
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them feel bad about
helding
Correct your spelling
holding
heading
sports
in their
countries
.
To conclude
, the government should make all the visitors clear about the rules in the
country
so that
this
should not harm the natural attractions of the place.
Submitted by princyheera on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay remains focused on the prompt throughout, specifically addressing the advantages and disadvantages as outlined. Though you have covered both views, a clearer delineation and more specific examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on developing fully supported main points. This involves not only stating facts or opinions but providing concrete examples, data, or studies to bolster your claims. These examples should be directly linked to the point you're making and directly relevant to the topic at hand.
coherence cohesion
Strive to improve the coherence of your essay by enhancing transitions between paragraphs and within them. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument, making the progression of ideas clearer and your reasoning more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Attention to spelling, grammar, and especially punctuation can considerably improve the readability and professionalism of your writing. While your essay demonstrates a good grasp of language, careful proofreading can eliminate simple errors that detract from your overall message.
coherence cohesion
Consider restructuring your introduction and conclusion to better mirror each other, reinforcing your key points and stance. This will not only make your argument more compelling but also aid in the overall cohesion of your piece.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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