In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

#education #employment #people #work

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Allegedly, hardworking employees

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apply

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and

students

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are given

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significant attention. In today's world, individuals strive to uplift their life levels;

as a result

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students

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study hard to enhance their educational knowledge,

while

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co-workers attempt to improve their qualifications in order to earn suitable revenues. To commence, nowadays, numerous citizens make efforts to become better residents in their educations or

employments

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employment

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. In effect, workers boost their productivity and

mind-set

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mindset

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, learn new programs, engage in in brain-storming sessions, and upgrade themselves with extra-curricular classes, because they want to enhance their resumes, earn considerable salaries, and advance in their careers.

For example

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, lots of software engineers in the USA, augment their resumes to seize opportunities in famous companies

such

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as Google, Microsoft and Intel.

On the other hand

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Students

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study effectively to get better results in exams in order to enter high-quality, and well-known universities for their future desires.

For instance

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, in our country, many university

students

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, enhance their knowledge, write powerful articles,

research

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and research

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in specific subjects, to enter

USA

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universities.

Therefore

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, one of the greatest goals for individuals is to strengthen the foundation of their

lives

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, and they can achieve

this

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with

hardworking

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hard work

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. As a matter of fact, sometimes working extensively

have

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has

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negative consequences.

For instance

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, individuals not only get anxiety during their either workplaces or universities, but

also

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experience high blood pressure rates, and obesity.

Therefore

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, the most important properties in our

lives

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are mental and physical well-being. In effect, people should be conscious during their

lives

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, and they should not destroy their

overall

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health with

extra-pressures

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extra pressures

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. It can be really beneficial, when citizens calculate risks, manage their stress, and engage in regular physical exercises, so they would be more successful in their

lives

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. In conclusion, when the public has a significant self-discipline, and

enhance

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enhances

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job and education qualities in their

lives

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, they can gain acceptable opportunities

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and will be more satisfied in their future

lives

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. But it is essential to be more responsible about our brain and body

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because without them, we cannot be successful at a

Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on Sun Mar 10 2024

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Task Achievement

Elaborate more on each idea by providing detailed examples and explanations to make your arguments stronger and more persuasive. This can help in achieving higher scores in task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduce a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will also make it easier for the reader to follow your argument and boost coherence.

Both

Work on paragraph structure to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. This clarity in paragraphing will enhance both coherence and task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

End your essay with a complete conclusion that restates your main points and provides a clear final opinion. This will improve the introduction and conclusion presence criterion.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Genetic predisposition
Work ethic
Upbringing
Cultural values
Ambitions
Motivated
Fear of failure
Competitive nature
Overworking
Burnout
Stress-related health issues
Productivity
Quality of life
Healthy balance
Long-term productivity

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In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Some people feel that cities should allow for spaces for graffiti while others feel it should be banned. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The world today is a safer place and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Social media has completely changed the way family and friends communicate with each other. What ore the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?