Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some argue that harmful

sports

Use synonyms

should be restricted,

while

Linking Words

others argue that individuals should have

their

Change the word

the

show examples

freedom to choose.

While

Linking Words

others are

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

show examples

about the risk of dangerous activities, I believe that people should have

their

Change the word

the

show examples

autonomy to choose the things they want to do.

To begin

Linking Words

with, harmful

sports

Use synonyms

can have many

risk

Change to a plural noun

risks

show examples

in individuals. Participating

Change preposition

show examples

dangerous activities can lead to fatal injuries and death. Even though they are physically and mentally prepared for it, the risk of

dangers

Fix the agreement mistake

danger

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

high.

For instance

Linking Words

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

continuous jarring of the head from boxing can lead to

debilitatiing

Correct your spelling

debilitating

injuries

such

Linking Words

as dementia, epilepsy, and

parkinson

Change the capitalization

Parkinson

show examples

. And these are lifetime injuries that cannot be cured. Banning

such

Linking Words

activity can protect

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

from

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

unneccessary

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

harm

On the other hand

Linking Words

, others argue that a person should have

their

Change the word

the

show examples

right to choose the things they want to do even if these choices

involves

Correct subject-verb agreement

involve

show examples

these

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

risks. Many participants engage in dangerous

sports

Use synonyms

because it gives them a sense of accomplishment.

For instance

Linking Words

, those who participate in skydiving

feels

Correct subject-verb agreement

feel

show examples

a sense of

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

after they finish. They feel victorious because they were able to survive the activity that most people will not do.

Thus

Linking Words

, as long as the participant knows the potential dangers it can cause him, he should be allowed to do anything he wants. In conclusion, engaging in harmful

sports

Use synonyms

can have

a potential risks

Correct the article-noun agreement

potential risks

a potential risk

show examples

in the lives of individuals.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that everyone should make their own choices.

yoko.onerom

Mar 11, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.

coherence cohesion

Link your ideas more explicitly using a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in contrast', 'as a result'). This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.

task achievement

Expand your examples by providing more specific details and evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Strive for a more balanced discussion of both views before presenting your opinion. This will ensure a complete response to the task.

general

Be mindful of grammatical mistakes and aim for accuracy in your sentences. This will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation” What might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
In this modern era, many individuals especially the younger generation prefer to work for themselves (freelancing) instead of being employed in a business corporation. In this essay, I will discuss the motives, and will enlist drawbacks as well.
7.5
band
Some people think that people who have committed crimes should do unpaid community work such as helping a charity or cleaning the streets, rather than spending time in prison. Do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals propose that some criminals can do community work for free as a way of punishment instead of being in prison. I strongly agree with this method because it has advantages for both criminals themselves and charity organizations.
7
band
In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree
I strongly agree that the replacement of traditional foods by international fast food in many countries has a negative effect on both families and societies. This shift has multifaceted implications that span health, culture, and social dynamics.
6
band
countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world
People tend to utilize increasingly similar products almost in all aspects of life, across the world. This essay will argue that the drawbacks of this outweigh the advantages. the essay will first demonstrate that homogenising destroys local cultures and diversity which results in national crises, followed by an analysis of how the primary advantage, namely the economic aspect, is not valid.
6
band
Nowadays, sports is a big business with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this a positive or negative development for sports? Give reasons for your
In recent years, sports have evolved from mere recreational activities into a colossal global industry. Professional athletes earn staggering salaries, and companies invest heavily in sponsorships, broadcasting rights, and merchandise. While the commercialisation of sports undeniably generates significant benefits, it also raises concerns about its impact on the essence of athletic competition. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument, highlighting the positive and negative implications of this trend.

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation” What might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think that people who have committed crimes should do unpaid community work such as helping a charity or cleaning the streets, rather than spending time in prison. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree

countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world

Nowadays, sports is a big business with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this a positive or negative development for sports? Give reasons for your