You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree. You should write at least 250 words.

There is a common belief that educational institutions
such
as schools are responsible
of
Change the preposition
for
show examples
taking care of only
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
success of students.
While
I agree that schools should provide pupils with a variety of
skills
that can be implemented for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effective learning or future career building, I would highlight my personal point that other unrelated
skills
should be a free
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
of each and learned through their lives, out of academic activities. Trying to mix
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
certain range of diverse occupations
while
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
in school with
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
intention to make studying funnier or broaden students' horizons often can lead to
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
opposite effect.
In other words
, the excessive amount of diversification in activities can lead to confusion of
intersts
Correct your spelling
interests
and
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
of focus, which
therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
show examples
, leads to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
poor performance in all subjects.
For example
, additional classes including cookery, dressmaking and woodwork in
Sovet
Correct your spelling
Soviet
Union were extracted in
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
educational system, as it showed a lower index in pupils' performance on examed subjects. In terms of
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
being able to cook or make things
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
one's
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, all the related
skills
fortunatly
Correct your spelling
fortunately
can be
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
by ancestors, or by simple single practice, or with friends.
Thus
,
trancforming
Correct your spelling
transforming
the process into
Correct article usage
an opporunity
show examples
opporunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to make new memories with close ones and settling the strong boundaries between
academic
Add an article
the academic
an academic
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
of life and creativity, making it easier to consider those occupations as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
off-time and strictly concentrate on studies in educational institutions. In conclusion, exposing people
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
an extra amount of opportunities and subjects to choose from is not
neccessarily
Correct your spelling
necessarily
a beneficial idea, because it can distract us, because minimalism
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a great state of flow, and a deep focus mode
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
sometimes everything we need for a good performance.
Also
, an
opportunuty
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to
leant
Verb problem
learn
show examples
creative
skills
by oneselef making it
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
even
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more illogical idea.
Submitted by raxdiana4 on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt and provides a balanced viewpoint if discussing agreement or disagreement. Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. This could involve citing studies, mentioning statistics, or detailing hypothetical scenarios that clearly demonstrate your point.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next by using a variety of transitional phrases. Additionally, develop each paragraph around a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
When offering examples, try to make them as specific and relevant as possible. For instance, rather than simply mentioning that extracurricular skills can be taught at home, you could include a brief anecdote or reference a study showing the effectiveness of learning such skills outside of a formal educational context.
General Advice
Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and preciseness in language use. This includes checking for typographical errors, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and using appropriate vocabulary. Improving these elements will make your argument more persuasive and easier to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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