International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Do the problems of international travel outweigh its advantages?

#tourism #industry #world #travel

In recent years, one of the essential

sector

Change to a plural noun

sectors

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worldwide

Wrong verb form

has been

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considered

Remove the article

apply

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global

tourism

While

I accept that there are some drawbacks

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international travel, I reckon that there are more positive sides. On the one hand, tourists may cause some issues in the visiting cities

such

as overcrowding in some areas and not being popular all year round. Visitors usually travel in large groups of about 20-30 people in each group. During the season there can be many groups from different countries.

Consequently

this

overcrowding could lead to

production

Add an article

the production

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of waste, noise and pollution. The next problem is that

tourism

offers only temporary workplaces. Individuals who work in

this

sphere have to

labor

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labour

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just several months yearly,

hence

they do not have privileges like sick pay, pension and health care.

However

, I would argue that disadvantages are outweighed by advantages,

such

as economic development and cultural awareness.

The

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significant proportion of income is enriched by

tourism

, since travellers use a huge number of services,

Correct word choice

and transportations

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transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

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, as well

pay

Correct word choice

as pay

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taxes.

Therefore

, it helps the population earn money and replenish the country’s budget.

Moreover

, culture can be promoted by tourists.

Traveling

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Travelling

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provides different kinds of activities, which assist

to get

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in getting

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to know the culture of the country better. As, culture is learned through food, tradition and language. Having visited a certain place and tasted

national

Correct article usage

a national

show examples

meal, people can get to know the nation better. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the prosperity of

tourism

can provide benefits for people on a global scale.

Although

there are some problems, they are outweighed by advantages.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Mon Mar 11 2024

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task response

Introduce both sides of the argument more clearly in your introduction to provide a clear roadmap of what the essay will discuss. This will enhance your task achievement score.

task response

Maintain consistency in your argument by dedicating one paragraph to disadvantages and another to advantages, rather than mixing them. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.

task response

Use more specific examples to support your claims. General statements about tourism's economic benefits and cultural exchange are good, but concrete examples or statistics would strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Try to vary your linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Repetitive use of connecting phrases can hinder the overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

Work on paragraphing skills. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within that paragraph support the main idea. This will aid in making your essay more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your conclusion clearly restates your position and summarizes the main points made in the body paragraphs without adding new information.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Do the problems of international travel outweigh its advantages?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience?. Is this a positive or negative development?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix the problem.

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?