International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Do the problems of international travel outweigh its advantages?

In recent years, one of the essential
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
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worldwide
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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considered
a
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apply
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global
tourism
.
While
I accept that there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
international travel, I reckon that there are more positive sides. On the one hand, tourists may cause some issues in the visiting cities
such
as overcrowding in some areas and not being popular all year round. Visitors usually travel in large groups of about 20-30 people in each group. During the season there can be many groups from different countries.
Consequently
,
this
overcrowding could lead to
production
Add an article
the production
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of waste, noise and pollution. The next problem is that
tourism
offers only temporary workplaces. Individuals who work in
this
sphere have to
labor
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labour
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just several months yearly,
hence
they do not have privileges like sick pay, pension and health care.
However
, I would argue that disadvantages are outweighed by advantages,
such
as economic development and cultural awareness.
The
Correct article usage
A
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significant proportion of income is enriched by
tourism
, since travellers use a huge number of services,
Correct word choice
and transportations
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transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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, as well
pay
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as pay
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taxes.
Therefore
, it helps the population earn money and replenish the country’s budget.
Moreover
, culture can be promoted by tourists.
Traveling
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Travelling
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provides different kinds of activities, which assist
to get
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in getting
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to know the culture of the country better. As, culture is learned through food, tradition and language. Having visited a certain place and tasted
national
Correct article usage
a national
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meal, people can get to know the nation better. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the prosperity of
tourism
can provide benefits for people on a global scale.
Although
there are some problems, they are outweighed by advantages.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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task response
Introduce both sides of the argument more clearly in your introduction to provide a clear roadmap of what the essay will discuss. This will enhance your task achievement score.
task response
Maintain consistency in your argument by dedicating one paragraph to disadvantages and another to advantages, rather than mixing them. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
task response
Use more specific examples to support your claims. General statements about tourism's economic benefits and cultural exchange are good, but concrete examples or statistics would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Repetitive use of connecting phrases can hinder the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing skills. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within that paragraph support the main idea. This will aid in making your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your conclusion clearly restates your position and summarizes the main points made in the body paragraphs without adding new information.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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