International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Do the problems of international travel outweigh its advantages?
In recent years, one of the essential
sector
worldwide Change to a plural noun
sectors
is
considered Wrong verb form
has been
a
global Remove the article
apply
tourism
. While
I accept that there are some drawbacks of
international travel, I reckon that there are more positive sides.
On the one hand, tourists may cause some issues in the visiting cities Change preposition
to
such
as overcrowding in some areas and not being popular all year round. Visitors usually travel in large groups of about 20-30 people in each group. During the season there can be many groups from different countries. Consequently
, this
overcrowding could lead to production
of waste, noise and pollution. The next problem is that Add an article
the production
tourism
offers only temporary workplaces. Individuals who work in this
sphere have to labor
just several months yearly, Change the spelling
labour
hence
they do not have privileges like sick pay, pension and health care.
However
, I would argue that disadvantages are outweighed by advantages, such
as economic development and cultural awareness. The
significant proportion of income is enriched by Correct article usage
A
tourism
, since travellers use a huge number of services, Correct word choice
and transportations
transportations
, as well Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
pay
taxes. Correct word choice
as pay
Therefore
, it helps the population earn money and replenish the country’s budget. Moreover
, culture can be promoted by tourists. Traveling
provides different kinds of activities, which assist Change the spelling
Travelling
to get
to know the culture of the country better. As, culture is learned through food, tradition and language. Having visited a certain place and tasted Change preposition
in getting
national
meal, people can get to know the nation better.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the prosperity of Correct article usage
a national
tourism
can provide benefits for people on a global scale. Although
there are some problems, they are outweighed by advantages.Submitted by ina1_95 on
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task response
Introduce both sides of the argument more clearly in your introduction to provide a clear roadmap of what the essay will discuss. This will enhance your task achievement score.
task response
Maintain consistency in your argument by dedicating one paragraph to disadvantages and another to advantages, rather than mixing them. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
task response
Use more specific examples to support your claims. General statements about tourism's economic benefits and cultural exchange are good, but concrete examples or statistics would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Repetitive use of connecting phrases can hinder the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing skills. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within that paragraph support the main idea. This will aid in making your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your conclusion clearly restates your position and summarizes the main points made in the body paragraphs without adding new information.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...