IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015
#information #percentage #women #education #five #countries #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided bar chart compares the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of females studying in higher education in The UK, The
USA
Use synonyms
,
Australia
Use synonyms
, South Korea and France in the period between 1980 and 2015. Generally speaking, the chart illustrates that the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 went up gradually in 2015 in almost all countries, except for
Australia
Use synonyms
, where the figure remained unchanged.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the percentage of
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 was the same as
Australia
Use synonyms
 totaled almost
three fifth
Correct your spelling
three-fifths
show examples
, and
this
Linking Words
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 was the highest in 2015. Unlike the trend for The
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Australia
Use synonyms
, the trend for
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had a minimal difference of approximately 5 % in the same year.
However
Linking Words
, there were just over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 students in France. The figure for South Korea reached the lowest point
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30% in 2015.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of Australian female school-leavers peaked at almost 60% in 1980. Around 38% of
women
Use synonyms
 from The
USA
Use synonyms
 attended universities in 1980, compared to approximately 35% of
women
Use synonyms
 from the UK.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the figure for France rose slightly to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half in the same period. Meanwhile, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of female graduates in South Korea had the lowest contribution with less than a fifth in both years .
Submitted by ina1_95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, usa, australia, women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: