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Band 4.5

There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workforce #money #reason #factor
There are
consequently
 a plethora of things that you can inspire
people
 in the workplace and in
this
 scenario, salary plays a major role in motivating any thoughts of
people
. And I fully agree with the statement and in the forthcoming paragraph, I explain why wage plays a major role in inspiring
people
. In today's era, a number of companies motivate their representative with the help of innovative ideas.
For instance
, the
company
 gives motivational sessions from time to their representative. One more thing that the
company
 does is to motivate their worker with the help of incentives or cash for appreciation of great work.
For example
, to serve employee excellent jobs
community
 credit incentives into their salary timely basis.
On the other hand
, nowadays
association
Fix the agreement mistake
associations
show examples
 initiate appraisal and promotion in their workplace. in light of the fact that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these employees can give their best and serve better for their
company
 better.
Due to
this
company
's value and reputation increase
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
company
's annual revenue increases automatically and the
community
 can achieve its design goal for
complete
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
one year.
due to
 the fact an employee always needs personal attention and encouragement from the
company
 where they work with dedication
this
 helps employees to always be motivated and inspiring.
Due to
 these factors affecting money play a major role in making a
community
 huge or tiny.
To sum up
, In recent years every need, desire and health of every laborer or workforce
people
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the responsibility of the
community
 and
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
show examples
 for motivating them in the workforce either of their health-related and either on mental health is
also
 vital for the
company
's appearance and responsibility to make association enormous from other competitors.
Submitted by sanjayrajput2163 on

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Support
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This makes your argument more convincing.
Task Response
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Grammar & Vocabulary
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • basic needs
  • career advancement
  • pension
  • job satisfaction
  • sense of purpose
  • social connections
  • workplace relationships
  • intellectual stimulation
  • societal norms
  • earning potential
  • motivation
  • livelihood
  • financial independence
  • professional growth
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