The diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity.

The diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity.
The illustration displays the hydro-electric power process.
Overall
, the
hydro-eletric
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
power relies on fresh
water
only. The
recycle
Change the form of the verb
recycling
show examples
of
water
is essential to the process.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
it is
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
to build
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
dam
in order to store enough amount of
water
in the reservoir for the whole process. Fresh
water
comes from the rain. The
sea
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seawater
show examples
water
evaporates
due to
the heat from the sun, leaving the salt behind.
First
Add a comma
First,
show examples
the
rain
Correct your spelling
rainwater
show examples
water
is collected in the reservoir built at the side of the mountain, using
this
location to help the flow of
water
. On the other side of the
damn
Add a comma
damn,
show examples
there is a valve which is
use
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used
show examples
to
controlled
Change the form of the verb
control
show examples
the
water
in the
dam
to flow in the system by the time they open it. Fresh
water
from the
dam
will be sent to the turbine first to create the
movementum
Correct your spelling
movement
momentum
of the
chrage
Correct your spelling
charge
and
then
converted
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
into electricity. The electricity will
tranfer
Correct your spelling
transfer
along the high voltage cables to the transformer station. The transformer will
sent
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send
be sent
show examples
the electricity to
school
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schools
show examples
,
hospital
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hospitals
show examples
and for household usage through the underground cables. The
water
in the turbine , after it already
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
energy, will be sent to the pump to pump it back to the
dam
.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, dam with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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