Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others beliece it is more important to give their time and attentiion to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Additional or optional
subjects
are sometimes interesting for some
students
in a university. Some of them are thinking the other
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to spend their time
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
completing
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
qualification
courses or tests. In my opinion, those two ways of studying in university are both great as long as they use their time optimally for their growth,
although
they have different
kind
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kinds
show examples
of benefits and drawbacks for the
students
.
For example
, the first one is good if the
students
find an intriguing subject that
match
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matches
show examples
their passion. They will have more motivation
studying
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to study
show examples
that subject and refresh their minds from other main
subjects
that are relatively tough for them. They
also
will have a more broad knowledge of various
subjects
that they cannot gain in their main
subjects
. I
have taken
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
the oceanography major in
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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college and mainly I studied
the
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apply
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physical oceanography, but I
also
took a subject
of
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on
show examples
fisheries to gain more knowledge about fish, how to catch them, and their markets in Indonesia. It was definitely fun to take a
while
off the confusing equations from oceanography and I have a
more
Correct word choice
better
show examples
understanding of how
fisheries
Correct article usage
the fisheries
show examples
sector works in Indonesia.
Consequently
speaking, it may
be
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apply
show examples
or may not be significant for the future career that the student will take. Equally important, the second choice proposed
a more ensuring goods
Correct the article-noun agreement
more ensuring goods
a more ensuring good
show examples
for the
students
that have a clearer vision of their career. A
qualification
means that they are formally capable of doing something, proved by an official certificate from an official organization.
This
qualification
is very valuable in applying for a job. The company that they have been submitting
for
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to
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will notice that they are more qualified for the vacant position compared to
other candidate
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another candidate
other candidates
show examples
without a
qualification
certificate.
For example
, if a student wants to be a manager in survey works, it would be good if they have a certificate in leading a project. They will be an expert in what they can but
unfortunately
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unfortunately,
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they will have a fewer knowledge of various
subjects
other than their speciality. To sum it up, both options are good for a student in their university. Those options are obviously a lot better
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
doing nothing in their free time. With the discussed pros and cons for them, I hope anyone that reads
this
can choose better their future.
Submitted by azkalfath07 on

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task achievement
Be sure to fully address the task prompt by clearly stating your opinion in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion for a stronger argument structure.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your introduction and conclusion to better signal the beginning and end of your essay, providing a clearer structure and making it easier for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical flow, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases that expressly indicate contrast, comparison, cause and effect, etc., between paragraphs and within them.
task achievement
Consider revising for a more formal tone by avoiding colloquial expressions and generalizations, making your essay more academically appropriate.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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