Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others beliece it is more important to give their time and attentiion to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#university #students #subjects #addition #beliece #time #attentiion #qualification

Additional or optional

subjects

are sometimes interesting for some

students

in a university. Some of them are thinking the other

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

to spend their time

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

completing

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

qualification

courses or tests. In my opinion, those two ways of studying in university are both great as long as they use their time optimally for their growth,

although

they have different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of benefits and drawbacks for the

students

For example

, the first one is good if the

students

find an intriguing subject that

match

Change the verb form

matches

show examples

their passion. They will have more motivation

studying

Change the verb form

to study

show examples

that subject and refresh their minds from other main

subjects

that are relatively tough for them. They

also

will have a more broad knowledge of various

subjects

that they cannot gain in their main

subjects

. I

have taken

Wrong verb form

took

show examples

the oceanography major in

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

college and mainly I studied

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical oceanography, but I

also

took a subject

Change preposition

show examples

fisheries to gain more knowledge about fish, how to catch them, and their markets in Indonesia. It was definitely fun to take a

while

off the confusing equations from oceanography and I have a

Correct word choice

better

show examples

understanding of how

fisheries

Correct article usage

the fisheries

show examples

sector works in Indonesia.

Consequently

speaking, it may

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

or may not be significant for the future career that the student will take. Equally important, the second choice proposed

a more ensuring goods

Correct the article-noun agreement

more ensuring goods

a more ensuring good

show examples

for the

students

that have a clearer vision of their career. A

qualification

means that they are formally capable of doing something, proved by an official certificate from an official organization.

This

qualification

is very valuable in applying for a job. The company that they have been submitting

for

Change preposition

show examples

will notice that they are more qualified for the vacant position compared to

other candidate

Change the wording

another candidate

other candidates

show examples

without a

qualification

certificate.

For example

, if a student wants to be a manager in survey works, it would be good if they have a certificate in leading a project. They will be an expert in what they can but

unfortunately

Add a comma

unfortunately,

show examples

they will have a fewer knowledge of various

subjects

other than their speciality. To sum it up, both options are good for a student in their university. Those options are obviously a lot better

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

doing nothing in their free time. With the discussed pros and cons for them, I hope anyone that reads

this

can choose better their future.

Submitted by azkalfath07 on Tue Mar 12 2024

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task achievement

Be sure to fully address the task prompt by clearly stating your opinion in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion for a stronger argument structure.

coherence cohesion

Enhance your introduction and conclusion to better signal the beginning and end of your essay, providing a clearer structure and making it easier for the reader to follow.

task achievement

Develop your main points with more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

To improve logical flow, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases that expressly indicate contrast, comparison, cause and effect, etc., between paragraphs and within them.

task achievement

Consider revising for a more formal tone by avoiding colloquial expressions and generalizations, making your essay more academically appropriate.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

387 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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