You use the local swimming pool often and during one of your visits you have encountered a problem. Write a letter to the manager and say – What the problem was and when it happened – What the swimming pool staff have done about it – Suggest your own solution to the problem.

#pool #visits #manager #staff

Dear Sir, I am writing

this

letter to complain about your local swimming

pool

during my

last

visit. I must

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

admit that the

pool

vere

Correct your spelling

very

well but you have a situation that requires a solution which encountered me.

Children

come to your big adult hall, I certainly wouldn't mind but it would be better if they

swimming

Wrong verb form

swam

show examples

in their little

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

pool

. I

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

want to say it would be better if we glue the sign that

children

under 10 years entrance is forbidden. It

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

would be better not only for me but

also

for other people.

For

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

it is

also

would be better for a

children

Change noun form

child's

show examples

life

due to

they are still small and can't

swimming

Change the form of the verb

swim

show examples

Consequently

, I know that

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

you have a

pool

for

children

, please let

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

swimming

Wrong verb form

swim

show examples

there. It would be good if you organized it tomorrow because the faster the better. Thanks for all, Tour faithful, With love Bakhshandabonu.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Tue Mar 12 2024

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Task Response

Focus on explaining the problem more clearly at the beginning. Instead of 'encountered me', say 'I encountered'. Ensure the problem is described in detail right from the start.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should introduce and expand upon a single idea. The transition between stating the problem, suggesting a solution, and expressing urgency could be smoother.

Vocabulary

Use more appropriate and formal vocabulary, especially when proposing solutions. Avoid colloquial expressions like 'glue the sign' and use 'affix a sign' or 'put up a sign' instead.

Grammar

Ensure correct grammar usage for more effective communication. For example, 'I am also want to say' should be 'I also want to say', and be mindful of verb forms and agreements throughout.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

Best regards,
Warm wishes,

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

161 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You use the local swimming pool often and during one of your visits you have encountered a problem. Write a letter to the manager and say – What the problem was and when it happened – What the swimming pool staff have done about it – Suggest your own solution to the problem.

The Closing

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others.

Nowadays many people choose tobe self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantges of being self-employed?

You rent an apartment and you are quite happy with it but you want to suggest a renovation. Write a letter about your suggestion. In your letter, you should tell: - Your appreciation of current condition - What is the renovation and why? - What is the benefits of your suggestion?

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.