You use the local swimming pool often and during one of your visits you have encountered a problem. Write a letter to the manager and say – What the problem was and when it happened – What the swimming pool staff have done about it – Suggest your own solution to the problem.

#pool #visits #manager #staff

Dear Sir, I am writing

this

letter to complain about your local swimming

pool

during my

last

visit. I must

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

admit that the

pool

vere

Correct your spelling

very

well but you have a situation that requires a solution which encountered me.

Children

come to your big adult hall, I certainly wouldn't mind but it would be better if they

swimming

Wrong verb form

swam

show examples

in their little

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

pool

. I

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

want to say it would be better if we glue the sign that

children

under 10 years entrance is forbidden. It

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

would be better not only for me but

also

for other people.

For

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

it is

also

would be better for a

children

Change noun form

child's

show examples

life

due to

they are still small and can't

swimming

Change the form of the verb

swim

show examples

Consequently

, I know that

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

you have a

pool

for

children

, please let

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

swimming

Wrong verb form

swim

show examples

there. It would be good if you organized it tomorrow because the faster the better. Thanks for all, Tour faithful, With love Bakhshandabonu.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Tue Mar 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Focus on explaining the problem more clearly at the beginning. Instead of 'encountered me', say 'I encountered'. Ensure the problem is described in detail right from the start.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should introduce and expand upon a single idea. The transition between stating the problem, suggesting a solution, and expressing urgency could be smoother.

Vocabulary

Use more appropriate and formal vocabulary, especially when proposing solutions. Avoid colloquial expressions like 'glue the sign' and use 'affix a sign' or 'put up a sign' instead.

Grammar

Ensure correct grammar usage for more effective communication. For example, 'I am also want to say' should be 'I also want to say', and be mindful of verb forms and agreements throughout.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

Best regards,
Warm wishes,

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

161 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Because of the ongoing incompetence in many many governments worldwide, some believe that government officials should be seasoned leaders, not the young and inexperienced. However, others think it is the fault of the entrenched veteran politicians, which is why they want younger people to have a shot.
<4
band
Some people believe that after the child begins his/her schooling their teachers will have more influence than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,this topic is always disputable that after starting kindergarten children have more inspired by their teacher rather than guardians.I have completely agree with this statement and write some words related to this belief.
4.5
band
In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. discuss both views and give your opinion
NOWADAYS, PEOPLE ARE DISCUSSING ABOUT WHO IS MORE WORTHY FOR THE UNPRDICTABLE FUTRURE, AGED AND EXPERINENCED OR YOUNG AND CREATIVE ONE. THE AUTHOR BELIEVE THAT WITH HOW HUMAN RUNNING FORWARD, THE YOUTH ARE MORE REVELANT IN THIS CASE.
5.5
band
Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
In the contemporary era, the existence of advertising has crept into many aspects of daily life. From my perspective, this tendency has raised many disruptive concerns relating to the issues of manipulating public opinion and fostering overshopping.
6.5
band
some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a controversial perspective that heat up a debate about whether efforts should be made to protect and preserve certain old buildings more than others. In my opinion, while each has its perks, I would contend that this is ideal to combine both mentioned factors.

You use the local swimming pool often and during one of your visits you have encountered a problem. Write a letter to the manager and say – What the problem was and when it happened – What the swimming pool staff have done about it – Suggest your own solution to the problem.

The Closing

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that after the child begins his/her schooling their teachers will have more influence than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?