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In many Cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some government are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to the rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #overpopulation #government #businesses #individuals #move #areas #trend
Nowadays, there is a demographical trend to urbanization, and
cities
 becoming critically overpopulated. To solve
this
 issue some
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 trying to motivate
people
 to move to the rural areas.
Overall
, there are more disadvantages rather than benefits in
this
 situation.
Usually
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Usually,
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cities
 are not built to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
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homes
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 for a huge amount of citizens, and that causes a lot of problems for individuals and for
the
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apply
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nature. The ones who suffer the most in
this
 situation are the residents, because of the unprepared infrastructure. Almost every big city
have
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has
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a
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apply
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traffic jam problems, especially in the rush hours before and after work. The reason for
this
 is a public transport system that
either
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is either
show examples
geograhycally
Correct your spelling
geographically
 small or
cant
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can't
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 carry huge
people
 traffic. In the
cities
 with
population
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a population
show examples
over
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of over
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 2 million,
people
 spend hours just to
reach
Verb problem
get
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 from work to home.
Moreover
, it is important to
not
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note
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 that ecology is one of the most serious issues nowadays, and metropolises are places with a huge negative
affect
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effect
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to
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on
show examples
a
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apply
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human health.
Cities
 are usually
over polluted
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over-polluted
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, because of an enormous amount of private transport and
productions
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production
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.
Therefore
,
people
 usually suffer from physical and mental health problems
However
, there are benefits for
an
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the
show examples
 economy and for businesses. For small growing startups it is easier to work
to
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with
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 a huge audience
,
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apply
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 and attract different groups of customers.
Moreover
, in metropolises more highly qualified specialists, that companies can hire.
Overall
, there are drawbacks and benefits,
however
number
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a number
the number
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 of disadvantages
outweight
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outweigh
positive
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the positive
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 effects. Because of the amount of discomfort that it causes to an ordinary citizen in their daily life.
Submitted by dyussenovaanel on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider organizing your essay more effectively. Begin with a clear introduction stating your opinion on the topic, followed by body paragraphs that individually address the advantages and disadvantages, and conclude with a summary restating your main points and opinion. Use cohesive devices (e.g., firstly, however, therefore) to better link your ideas.
task achievement
To address the task more fully, ensure you clearly discuss both the advantages and disadvantages equally. While you've mentioned both sides, the essay leans more towards discussing disadvantages. Make sure to balance your discussion and develop your argument with specific, detailed examples to strengthen your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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