In many Cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some government are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to the rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, there is a demographical trend to urbanization, and
cities
becoming critically overpopulated. To solve this
issue some goverment
trying to motivate Correct your spelling
government
governments
people
to move to the rural areas. Overall
, there are more disadvantages rather than benefits in this
situation. Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
cities
are not built to be a
Correct article usage
apply
home
for a huge amount of citizens, and that causes a lot of problems for individuals and for Fix the agreement mistake
homes
the
nature.
The ones who suffer the most in Correct article usage
apply
this
situation are the residents, because of the unprepared infrastructure. Almost every big city have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
a
traffic jam problems, especially in the rush hours before and after work. The reason for Correct article usage
apply
this
is a public transport system that either
Add a missing verb
is either
geograhycally
small or Correct your spelling
geographically
cant
carry huge Correct your spelling
can't
people
traffic. In the cities
with population
Add an article
a population
over
2 million, Change preposition
of over
people
spend hours just to reach
from work to home. Verb problem
get
Moreover
, it is important to not
that ecology is one of the most serious issues nowadays, and metropolises are places with a huge negative Correct your spelling
note
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
to
Change preposition
on
a
human health. Remove the article
apply
Cities
are usually over polluted
, because of an enormous amount of private transport and Add a hyphen
over-polluted
productions
. Fix the agreement mistake
production
Therefore
, people
usually suffer from physical and mental health problems
However
, there are benefits for an
economy and for businesses. For small growing startups it is easier to work Correct article usage
the
to
a huge audienceChange preposition
with
,
and attract different groups of customers. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, in metropolises more highly qualified specialists, that companies can hire.
Overall
, there are drawbacks and benefits, however
number
of disadvantages Change the article
a number
the number
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
positive
effects. Because of the amount of discomfort that it causes to an ordinary citizen in their daily life.Correct article usage
the positive
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider organizing your essay more effectively. Begin with a clear introduction stating your opinion on the topic, followed by body paragraphs that individually address the advantages and disadvantages, and conclude with a summary restating your main points and opinion. Use cohesive devices (e.g., firstly, however, therefore) to better link your ideas.
task achievement
To address the task more fully, ensure you clearly discuss both the advantages and disadvantages equally. While you've mentioned both sides, the essay leans more towards discussing disadvantages. Make sure to balance your discussion and develop your argument with specific, detailed examples to strengthen your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.