Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today ‘s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In
this
World, Some groups of people
told
Wrong verb form
tell
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
History
Correct word choice
that History
show examples
subjects
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more Crucial.
On the other hand
, some
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
that Subjects like modern days.Instance,Science and Technology
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
most Important. In
this
Essay
Add a comma
Essay,
show examples
I will discuss both
essay
Change to a plural noun
essays
show examples
and give my opinion.
Firstly
, There are People who think that
History
Books are More useful in
society
rather than others. I think they say
this
because,
History
is the most important factor in any Thing because without
history
we cannot understand
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
Specific things
Belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
Belong
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and what the purpose of
this
and
Add a missing verb
is and
show examples
why
this
is Happening. Without
history
Add a comma
history,
show examples
everything becomes so
counfusing
Correct your spelling
confusing
.
For Example
,
First
Change the article
the First
show examples
phone was invented by Graham Bell, how
we
Add a missing verb
do we
show examples
know that, Because of
history
Books without that we
Will
Wrong verb form
Would
show examples
never be able to find who is the first creator of
Phone
Correct article usage
the Phone
show examples
.
In Addition
,
History
also
told
Wrong verb form
tells
show examples
us about
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
Revolutions and past Incidents,
Researches
Fix the agreement mistake
Research
show examples
, Wars, Problems etc.
Secondly
,Groups of people Belong to their words. (Modern subjects like Science and Technology) is More Competitive and we Should
thaught
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
about them it is more Important. They think that
history
is just
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time and Our whole Focus
would be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
on
Latest
Correct article usage
the Latest
show examples
Things So We should Adapt that and Grow with
Whole
Correct article usage
the Whole
show examples
World. Because
this
Globe is Changing rapidly fast And Aquire more Passion and Dedication to compete with World.
For Instance
, If we told our
society
about
history
and anything like that it would be lost in Past and the Entire Globe Become so fast in Modern and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
Technology that We
cannot
Wrong verb form
could not
show examples
chase him and we become
A Underdeveloped
Correct your spelling
an underdeveloped
show examples
country in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
eyes. In my
Opinion
Fix capitalization
opinion
show examples
, We should
thaught
Correct your spelling
teach
show examples
our
society
about
History
as well as
Modern Technologies so that they
known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
the background and Fully Understand it and Can make more and rapid Progress in
this
Globe
Submitted by mateentariq582 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay more effectively by clearly introducing the topic and stating your opinion in the introduction. Make sure your conclusion summarizes your points and reiterates your stance clearly.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using clear and logical connectors between sentences and paragraphs. This will help your essay flow more smoothly and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Address the task more completely by discussing both sides of the argument in equal measure and providing a balanced overview before stating your opinion. Ensure that your opinion is clear and directly addresses the prompt.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your points. The examples you choose should be directly linked to the argument you're making and clearly illustrate your point. Consider using examples from recent developments in science and technology to counterbalance historical examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on the structure of your sentences and the accuracy of language use. Avoid run-on sentences and strive for clarity and conciseness in your expression. Consider grammar and vocabulary improvements to make your argument more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: