The table below illustrates information about age, average income of a person and population that is below the poverty line in California, Utal, and Florida.
The table compares age, average
of
per individual’s salary, and Change preposition
apply
population
poverty in three states in the US.
Overall
, what stands out from the table is that the most average income is in California
. Most teenagers prefer to live in Utah
, while
in Florida
, there is the largest proportion of elderly people
. Another interesting point is that the biggest difference is
between Unnecessary verb
apply
Florida
and Utah
for elderly people
living
.
Moving to a more detailed analysis, in Verb problem
apply
Utah
, it represent the largest percentage of the
young individuals, at 28%, Correct article usage
apply
while
elderly people
have the lowest figure, at 8%. The proportion of young humans who live in California
and Florida
is almost equally
accounting for almost 17%. Elderly Change the word
equal
people
who live in Florida
contribute 23%, while
those in California
contribute 13% to data
.
With regard to average income and Correct article usage
the data
population
poverty, average
salary is Add an article
the average
equally
for Change the word
equal
California
and Florida
population
, at 23000 and 22000 dollars respectively, Fix the agreement mistake
populations
as well as
the poorest individuals live
in Wrong verb form
living
California
and Florida
, at merely over 15% and less than 15% in turn. The remaining population
constitutes a tenth of the total population
according to
Utah
Change noun form
Utah's
population
.Submitted by writingbhos on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, california, utah, florida, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!