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Band 5.5

The table below illustrates information about age, average income of a person and population that is below the poverty line in California, Utal, and Florida.

The table below illustrates information about age, average income of a person and population that is below the poverty line in California, Utal, and Florida.
#information #age #income #person #population #poverty #line #california #florida
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The table compares age, average
of
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apply
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per individual’s salary, and
population
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 poverty in three states in the US.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the table is that the most average income is in
California
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. Most teenagers prefer to live in
Utah
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,
while
Linking Words
 in
Florida
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, there is the largest proportion of elderly
people
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. Another interesting point is that the biggest difference
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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between
Florida
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 and
Utah
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 for elderly
people
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living
Verb problem
apply
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. Moving to a more detailed analysis, in
Utah
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, it represent the largest percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young individuals, at 28%,
while
Linking Words
 elderly
people
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 have the lowest figure, at 8%. The proportion of young humans who live in
California
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 and
Florida
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 is almost
equally
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equal
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 accounting for almost 17%. Elderly
people
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 who live in
Florida
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 contribute 23%,
while
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 those in
California
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 contribute 13% to
data
Correct article usage
the data
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. With regard to average income and
population
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 poverty,
average
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the average
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 salary is
equally
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equal
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 for
California
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 and
Florida
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Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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, at 23000 and 22000 dollars respectively,
as well as
Linking Words
 the poorest individuals
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in
California
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 and
Florida
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, at merely over 15% and less than 15% in turn. The remaining
population
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 constitutes a tenth of the total
population
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according to
Linking Words
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Utah
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Utah's
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population
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.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, california, utah, florida, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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