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Band 5.5

The table below illustrates information about age, average income of a person and population that is below the poverty line in California, Utal, and Florida.

The table below illustrates information about age, average income of a person and population that is below the poverty line in California, Utal, and Florida.
#information #age #income #person #population #poverty #line #california #florida
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The table compares age, average
of
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per individual’s salary, and
population
 poverty in three states in the US.
Overall
, what stands out from the table is that the most average income is in
California
. Most teenagers prefer to live in
Utah
,
while
 in
Florida
, there is the largest proportion of elderly
people
. Another interesting point is that the biggest difference
is
Unnecessary verb
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between
Florida
 and
Utah
 for elderly
people
living
Verb problem
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. Moving to a more detailed analysis, in
Utah
, it represent the largest percentage of
the
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young individuals, at 28%,
while
 elderly
people
 have the lowest figure, at 8%. The proportion of young humans who live in
California
 and
Florida
 is almost
equally
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equal
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 accounting for almost 17%. Elderly
people
 who live in
Florida
 contribute 23%,
while
 those in
California
 contribute 13% to
data
Correct article usage
the data
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. With regard to average income and
population
 poverty,
average
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the average
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 salary is
equally
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equal
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 for
California
 and
Florida
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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, at 23000 and 22000 dollars respectively,
as well as
 the poorest individuals
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in
California
 and
Florida
, at merely over 15% and less than 15% in turn. The remaining
population
 constitutes a tenth of the total
population
according to
Utah
Change noun form
Utah's
show examples
population
.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, california, utah, florida, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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