Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages
In the modern era, there has been
growing
tendency of individuals to eat fast Correct article usage
a growing
food
and
leads some people Correct word choice
which
suggest
that all Fix the infinitive
to suggest
of
the eating Change preposition
apply
place
should give Change to a plural noun
places
information
of
nutritional composition Change preposition
on
in
each Change preposition
on
menu
. Personally, there are many benefits of this
idea outweighs
the drawbacks and Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
this
essay will discuss about
it.
Remove the preposition
apply
To begin
with, giving nutritional information
to customers will help them be aware of their health
and also
decrease the global health
problem. Nowadays, there are a lot of people who struggle with obesity and diabetes disease because they do not know the dangerous ingredients of the food
or beverage
they consume, Fix the agreement mistake
beverages
while
many restaurants are not aware of the nutrition
of their products. For instance
, many products have high sugar levels in America and it makes America one of the countries that have problems with obesity and diabetes disease because of the effects of food
consumed by them.
On the other hand
, the nutrition
details on each product will increase creativity
Correct article usage
the creativity
the
restaurant to improve Change preposition
of the
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
menu
. Nowadays, many restaurants create and serve lots of new health
menus by nutrition
which is suitable for consumption by people who are on diet
. Correct article usage
a diet
For instance
, some eateries in Indonesia who are display
Change the verb form
display
the
Correct article usage
apply
information
of
Change preposition
on
nutrition
in
their Change preposition
on
menu
to suggest customer
the Change preposition
to customer
food
by nutrition
that they needed
to consume always updating their Wrong verb form
need
menu
.
In conclusion, there are many benefits outweigh
the drawbacks to detailing Correct pronoun usage
that outweigh
food
’s nutrition
on the menu
. The information
will increase customer’s
awareness Fix the agreement mistake
customers’
the
impacts of Change preposition
of the
food
by
consumed Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
them
and it will Correct pronoun usage
apply
helpful
to decrease the global Replace the word
help
health
problems by food
’s causes. Moreover
, the restaurant will be more creative to
improving their Change preposition
in
menu
by nutrition
in their products.Submitted by writingieltsband9 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Focusing on a clear structure can help improve the coherence of your essay. Make sure each paragraph has a single, well-defined point that supports your overall argument. Transition words or phrases between paragraphs can also enhance the logical flow.
Task Achievement
Be sure to fully address all parts of the task. While your essay discusses advantages prominently, it could benefit from a more balanced examination of the potential disadvantages of requiring restaurants to disclose nutritional information.
Content
Using specific examples to support your main points can strengthen your argument further. Consider adding more detailed examples from different contexts or even hypothetical scenarios that show the potential impact of having nutritional information in restaurants.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.