IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
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The Diagram illustrates
Proportion
Correct article usage
the Proportion
show examples
 of
Water
Use synonyms
 Consumption
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Six Places in The Globe for
Different
Change the article
a Different
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
Usage
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, Agricultural Places
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 the first spot on
Use synonyms
list
Add an article
the list
show examples
 for most
water
Use synonyms
Usage
Use synonyms
Axcept
Correct your spelling
Except
 One Place (
Euorpe
Correct your spelling
Europe
).
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Domestic
Correct article usage
the Domestic
show examples
Area
Use synonyms
 Is
Lowest
Correct article usage
the Lowest
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
list
Use synonyms
. Every place in the
list
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Use
Change the verb form
Uses
show examples
 More
water
Use synonyms
 for their
Use synonyms
Agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
Use synonyms
Area Except
Correct your spelling
areas except
show examples
One
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Euorpe
Correct your spelling
Europe
.They
use
Use synonyms
 more
Water
Use synonyms
 in Industrial
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 rather than in
agriculture
Use synonyms
 with the number of 53%in Industrial
use
Use synonyms
 and 32% in
Agriculture
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Central
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
show examples
 takes the first spot on the
list
Use synonyms
 for using more
water
Use synonyms
 in
Agricultural
Correct article usage
the Agricultural
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 With
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 ratio of 88% in
Agriculture
Use synonyms
 and just 5% in
industrial
Add an article
an industrial
the industrial
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 which is the lowest ratio for
water
Use synonyms
uasge
Correct your spelling
usage
 in
industrial
Add an article
an industrial
the industrial
show examples
area
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, Africa and Southasia
Is
Change the verb form
Are
show examples
 back
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
list
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 of 84% and 81% in
Use synonyms
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
usage
Use synonyms
 and just 7% and
12%in
Correct your spelling
12% in
 industrial
use
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, North America is in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 spot for using most
water
Use synonyms
 in industrial
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 ratio
46
Change preposition
of 46
show examples
%.
Most
Correct article usage
The most
show examples
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in domestic is
Central
Change preposition
in Central
show examples
 Asia and south
east asia
Correct your spelling
Southeast Asia
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of 7,7
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 respectively.
Submitted by mateentariq582 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, usage, list, area, use, agriculture with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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