The diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans.

The diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans.
The shown diagram
illutrates
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illustrates
the stages in the recycling of
aluminium
drink
can
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cans
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.Let us compare the information by selecting and reporting the main features and try to find some relevant ideas. The diagram represents that empty
tins
are collected and stored in a place which is
knoen
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known
rto
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to
be a collection center.The collected
tins
are transported to a recycling
center
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centre
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where the empty cans are involved in various forms and
atlast
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at last
new cans are made.In the old
tins
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
melt down
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meltdown
show examples
and
forms
Correct subject-verb agreement
form
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
aluminium
.
Then
the new
aluminium
are
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is
show examples
msde
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made
into
aluminium
rolls and
also
new collections of cans are made.
Atlast
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At least
the
nwe
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new
aluminium
tins
are
alligned
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aligned
in a drinks machine for next use.
This
will be the routine process of making
drinks
Correct article usage
a drinks
show examples
machine.
The people
Correct article usage
People
show examples
must
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
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of using
aluminium
and
also
familiar with the degradation process of their daily
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
materials and keep away them from the
harm
Replace the word
harmful
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effects of their
distruction
Correct your spelling
destruction
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words aluminium, tins with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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