IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

People say it is the responsibility of the residents to keep the environment clean and tidy while others think it is the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion with examples.

#people #responsibility #residents #environment #government
It is believed by a group of crowds that to keep the
environment
 clean and tidy is the residents' burdens, in parallel, a great deal of the folks reckon that the responsibility ought to be arranged by the
government
. From my prospect, I partially agree with both thoughts.
To begin
 with, accommodation has been always considered one of the importances in individuals' lives, the tendency of the crowds
spending
Change the verb form
to spend
show examples
 their money on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
residences is significantly increasing, on top of that,
due to
 lots of factors
such
 as the surroundings, the accommodations funded usually have the ease and an amazing
environment
 nearby built by the
government
 in order to reap the benefits from either the tourists or the citizens.
For instance
, the forest, which is near the field for camping defined as an interesting activity, should be taken care
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
 the governance mostly since tourist attractions'
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very crucial.
On the contrary
, in the personal area, the burden to keep the
environment
 clean should be managed by the residents
as a result
 of the excluding duty from the
government
 despite the dearth of
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
. Not forgetting to mention that, the lack of gradual attendance is always
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 trouble because of the functional system set by the
country'
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 institution.
For instance
, the schedules of most institutions are set in advance
hence
, in spite of the urgent issues, the schedules are not able to be changed,
that is
, the residents ought to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention to their
environment
as well as
 the governance.
To sum up
, the responsibility
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the high-quality milieu contributed to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life'
Change noun form
life's
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 is the duty of both the
government
 and the citizens
thus
 sighting the
importances
Fix the agreement mistake
importance
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interaction can make a city a better position.
Submitted by nutthan.aud on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction that directly addresses the question and outlines your viewpoint. This sets precise expectations for your reader.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more details and explaining how they directly support your argument. This strengthens the connection between your claims and the real-world implications.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesiveness by ensuring smooth and logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking phrases and words that clearly show the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Clarify main points in each paragraph, ensuring each has a clear topic sentence. Then, elaborate and provide evidence specific to the point you're making.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and aim for more variety in sentence structures. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences enhances readability and demonstrates a higher level of language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: